In a previous post I touched on dealing with anger in a child, and commented that sometimes uncontrolled anger can accompany tears. Anger and sadness can go hand in hand. We all have those days of feeling down, the blues, and children are no exception. Children may be more intentional with their emotions, but it is also less understood by them. Coping through mindfulness and communication is my “go to” to teach them how to deal with big emotions.
Mindfulness can change how a child processes sadness. Directed questions such as “Are you feeling overwhelmed?”, or “Can I help you feel better?”. Survey the environment, look at the situation, and as an adult act accordingly. Never dismiss the emotion. The skills learned early in life become a part of coping even as an adult.
When a child is crying and having a tough day at daycare, we always encourage them to use their words to aid in helping them with their big emotions. Absolutely no degrading, no anger, just patience and understanding while they sort out how to communicate with us. Sometimes they just need to feel sad for awhile, so we sit with them, comfort for their tears, or give them space. When ready, moving to deep cleansing breaths, and holding their hand, or if they need it a warm hug. No matter what they need to help them feel better, we offer them comfort in knowing this is a safe place.
Its important for children to know its okay to feel sad. Its just as important for children to know it is okay for them to ask for help if they can’t bring themselves out of their blues. It is crucial for a trusted adult to validate and initiate change to help them return to a calm state. A healthy reminder that emotions effect everyone, and that how they are feeling is normal, and should pass. Accept it, experience it, and eventually overcome.