For today’s post, I thought I would share a handful of the parenting truths that I’ve realized over the years. Some may be obvious, and some are a bit more niche. Enjoy!
- they will not sleep in if they stay up later the night before.
- straightaway you will want the naps you didn’t take as a child.
- if it can be mispronounced, it will be, and it will sound like a swear.
- shoes on the wrong feet don’t matter if they put them on themselves.
- if there is a hole anywhere on their clothing they will stick their fingers in and make the hole bigger.
- their snot will find it’s way on to your work clothes.
- getting up earlier to have a cup of coffee before they wake up is heaven.
- you will envy the parent that has the child that sleeps till 7:30am.
- if they can make a mess with it, they will.
- you will never sleep soundly again.
- hiding in a bathroom or closet to eat a chocolate bar is your new reality.
- you will share every morsel of food off of your plate.
- accordingly, the same food on your plate will taste better.
- the same food loved on Monday will be hated on Tuesday.
- children will swear at the most inopportune time, and very loudly.
- little feet will find their way to your face in the middle of the night.
- silence is now feared.
- children will almost always get sick when something important is planned.
- their tears stop the second you leave the daycare.
- poop will become part of your vocabulary.
- additionally if their stomach is sore they probably need to poop.
- going to the bathroom is a mini holiday if you lock the door.
- indeed, if you don’t lock the bathroom door your children will come in to visit.
- you will find yourself humming children’s songs.
- cartoons are still amazing.
- if you think you should take a picture of it, they will never do it again, no matter how prepared you are to get the picture.
- being a parent gives you the right to be silly and sing in public.
- you will never love another human being as much as you love your children.
- you are their first love.