Grown Ups Cry

Some days are harder than others

trees and cars covered by snow

Full moon, poor sleep, home life stress, unforgiving weather, and children with cabin fever. The perfect storm. A day like no other. Waking up to fresh snow and down right frigid weather for the 14th day in a row, too cold to function, too cold to play outside.

The children showed signs earlier that week of needing to get outside, room to run, an environment that invites loud voices with space to spare. Where we live, winter is too long, and can be way too cold. This day was no exception to the rule. The wind chill that day would easily freeze any exposed skin in minutes. Arguably daycare should have been closed, but some parents had no choice but to persevere through the cold weather to go to work. Having a daycare in my own home made it impossible for me to close due to bad weather, after all my commute was non existent. Setting myself up for the day, preparing for restless children, determined to get through the day. Nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen. Seven children and me, not necessarily a bad number, just busy.

The children asked for the toy box, no problem, except three of them relentlessly fought over the same toy. Taking the toy away to give them a breather, one of them decided to sit and scream at the top of their lungs for over fifteen minutes, completely inconsolable. Going against my grain, I gave in, giving them back the toy on the agreement they would take turns. Setting the timer so they each had equal time, making it easier to share the toy, seemed like a good idea. However one child complained that they didn’t get the same amount of time because they went to the bathroom. Then the next child decided to argue that no one wanted to play with him while he had the toy. Fighting, arguing, and crying, the toy got put away. This initial fight dictated the rest of the day.

Snack was “disgusting”, (Bananas). The story was boring. Why do they have to do learning time. Soap all over the sink instead of washing hands. Plugging up the toilet, not once, not twice, but three times. Markers for coloring were used on hands, table, and on the chairs (ultra clean markers, thank you Crayola 🙂 ), another task to clean. I went to the bathroom briefly, to come out to a child crying in hysterics, of course no one knew what happened. The phone kept ringing, I had no time to answer. One child leaning forward bit my shoulder for no apparent reason while I was sitting on the floor playing toys with them. Snagged my sweater on a toy car. One of the kids has a bowel movement in their underpants. Giving up I decided to start lunch. Suddenly I tripped and fell while carrying the pasta to drain in the sink, spaghetti all over the floor.

The children were getting hungry, grumpy and tired. Starting spaghetti all over again was not going to happen, so I made sandwiches, and finger foods. No one wanted to eat, and loudly voiced their displeasure of not having spaghetti. Checking the clock to see how much longer till my day would be done. Alas, the phone began to ring again. Taking a second while the children sat at the table pushing their food around, I answered it. Straining to hear the caller, realizing it was one of the parents, they were currently stuck in the city, over a hour away. They were calling to let me know that they would possibly be late coming to get their children.

The last straw, tears streamed down my face. Frustration, and a poor sleep, leaked down my cheeks. All the children stopped their complaining once they realized I was crying. “Shush”, one of them said to the others. Silence floated over the room. “She needs a moment”, the other one said. “Come sit and have some water”, as they grabbed my hand to sit. I sat, they ate. I wiped my face. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and thanked them for their kindness. One of my littles looks at me and says, “Its okay, you let me cry when I need to”. 🙂