Trying to bring balance in a room full of toddlers is like trying to count the hairs on your head. Not that peace cannot happen, but it is very difficult. We try to teach our children about the value of sharing. How good it feels to give instead of always receiving.
But alas children will take the idea of “sharing is caring”, and run away with it like a dog with his favorite bone. That term gets abused by little people who want what someone else has. Not that sharing isn’t encouraged, but patience is also necessary. Most, (not all), toddlers aren’t inherently greedy, but when they like something, they don’t want to share, especially if its a new toy or a favorite. The tough part in this situation is to try to figure out how to maintain harmony. The examples of how we overcame some of this adversity is as diverse as each child in our care.
The quiet child is taught to use their voice. They may be encouraged to say “No”, when they are not ready to share with a happy heart. Our quiet children aim to please their peers. Unfortunately some of the older children will take advantage of the more peaceful peers. Sometimes they will bully them into getting what they want. Using our voices is the best way to communicate our needs. Therefore if the quiet child says “no”, then we respect their decision. Allowing them the opportunity to gain self confidence and teach them control over choices. In addition they are not feeling pressured into giving things up before they are ready. Once a reasonable amount of time has passed, we will encourage even the quiet child to consider another toy so everyone gets a turn.
The “hoarder”, the child that wants every toy, including what other children have. This child needs to be taught to be happy with what they have. Easier said then done, but perseverance is key. To encourage someone to share who does not want to is a task of love and patience. Trying to showcase the gratitude given by peers when you share some of the toys should bring about a more willingness to part with hoarded toys. Teaching them that they don’t have to share everything, but they have to share some. Unfortunately sometimes it means also limiting the amount of toys this type of child is allowed to have. Not segregating them, but making sure more toys are available for the rest of the children to play with.
Then there is the child that always wants what someone else has. This child is not as easily taught to share, and harder to pacify with a different toy for obvious reasons. Sometimes they need to be given “alone time” at a table to curb their strong desire to continue to try to take toys away from someone else. Or a visual aid i.e: a timer, so they can patiently wait for a different toy. Harmony can be achieved by creating team play, like board games, Lego, and other interactive toys, to encourage sharing the same toys.
There are lots of books that can be read as well that can teach them the joy of sharing in a positive way. A favorite is a book called “You get what you get and you don’t get Upset” by Heath McKenzie, or “You get what you Get” by Julie Gassman.
The balancing act that comes from teaching all personality types about sharing in a timely and grateful way is definitely an art form. Sharing is caring when done in a respectful way.