Category: Parent

Children want to be heard, but interrupting, unless it’s an emergency, is not okay. Listening skills are taught early, and it is understood how important it is to wait for your turn. My day is spent listening to little ones and their stories, and helping them with their needs. They understand early on that what they have to say is very important. But when it is time to be quiet, it is time to be quiet. Here are some examples:

Quiet time: This is the time when children are trying to sleep or rest. Downtime is important for clean-up and to ensure that the children do not get overstimulated.

Story time: We have a poem we recite just before stories: “Thinking caps, listening ears, button our lips, throw it away, hands together on our laps, crisscross applesauce, eyes on the story, gum on your bum stick it down.”

Learning or Concentration time: This is mostly so that instructions are not missed, and work is done in a timely manner (for ages 3.5-6).

In addition, the parents and I sometimes talk at great length about their children at the end of the day. The children are also excited to see their parents, so normally I will give them some grace, stand back, give them time, but then it’s my turn. Once it’s my time, they are not allowed to interrupt, but show patience and wait.

Not always is this achievable. The children are taught very early that an emergency is always a priority. That means even if I don’t feel it’s an emergency and they do, it will still be addressed. How do I teach them this so they don’t get accused of interrupting? Easy. All they have to do is put their hand on my arm. That simple act is a signal that they cannot wait. Occasionally, we have to readdress what is considered an emergency, but not often. It is crucial that we show the children the same respect we want. Never interrupt them unless it is an emergency or dealing with a time constraint. Always show interest in what they have to say in the hope that they will emulate the behavior, making interruptions limited.

Boundaries are important. A parent has questioned why children are not allowed to have whatever they want, whenever they want. This practice is not to squelch their freedom but to teach responsibility. Toys and crafts that need to be asked for set a precedent of respect, cleanliness, and order. If you use it, you are responsible for cleaning it up. Messy spaces create anxiety for all children and myself. Additionally, it is easier to find things the next time if everything is put away.

We have always helped the children with cleaning up, setting a good example of cooperation. However, if clean up participation stalls, we no longer help, but encourage individual responsibility. “I did not play with it, and I am helping you clean up. If you stop cleaning, so will I. Once this is cleaned up, new toys can come out.” Not every child is a willing participant, and occasionally a learning curve must occur, setting an example for their peers. Some children have found themselves cleaning alone, and we acknowledge their efforts with praise and sometimes a treat. Children who do not help at all find out how limited their access to toys becomes, trying to encourage individual neatness. Less access to toys, less mess.

We showed the children how different our environment is when nothing gets cleaned up. At first, they enjoyed having access to all of the toys, with bins dumped and toys off all the shelves, resulting in chaos. Then, broken toys, accidents, and tears ensued. It did not take long before they understood the necessity of orderliness.

We are not militant about cleaning after each activity, but definitely before the mess becomes overwhelming. In addition to a harmonized playroom, each time a different set of toys comes out for play, especially some that have been out of sight, aids in interest and excitement. Children will look for praise, and they should receive it. The more positive clean up is, the easier it is to implement. We make games out of clean up, sing songs, and even have races! I always tell parents to trust me; there is generally a method to my madness 🙂 Slowly but surely, the efforts at daycare manifest themselves in their own homes 🙂

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Lying is common with children, sometimes even as early as 2 and a half years old. Its not always their intention, but they can definitely fabricate stories to their advantage, or defense. The difficult part is trying to find out why they are fibbing. Lying can be out of fear, trying to gain approval from their peers, or other underlying reasons. Anxiety or depression can also lead to lying as well, a defense mechanism so they don’t worry their parents. No matter the reason, honesty is a very important behavior that needs to be impressed. Helping a child figure out why they feel the need to fib is part of the solution.

One of my daycare children was playing pretty energetically, lifted up their sleeve to reveal a nasty cut. As soon as attention was drawn to the wound, all their peers were questioning what happened. Listening in for my own sake, I heard this child say that it was because of their cat. Then it was the child’s sibling cutting him with a butter knife. To get an even bigger reaction he said his parent cut him with scissors. He was glowing from the attention. After hearing the progression of stories about the wound, I took the child aside to ask what really happened. As a result of the conversation I did find out the truth, their cat had scratched the child. The incident was confirmed by the parent. Instead of embarrassing the child and drawing attention to the lie, I gave the child confidence to tell the truth about the scratch the following day.

Encouraging honesty through trust is important for anyone. There is no real solution that stops a child from lying completely, but praise for the truth is important. You can help them learn how to avoid situations where they feel the need to lie. When it is hardest for them to tell the truth is when the most praise should be given. Always try to give children the opportunity to tell the truth and help them make the right choice. Stress the consequences for their actions. Positive for the truth, negative for the lie.

The harder the truth, the more encouragement is needed. For example when a child breaks a toy – “Thanks for telling me the truth, what caused it to break? How can we fix this?”. Rule of thumb, if it was a deliberate action, intended, then there is still negative consequences. But the punishment is lessened by telling the truth. It is important to stress the, “if you tell me the truth” consequences, versus the consequences of continued denial. To quote Dr. Rouse (Child Mind Institute), “What are the circumstances of the lies? There are no hard and fast guidelines, different levels means different repercussions.” (Why kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It from childmind.org) This article is chalk full of amazing ideas for how to deal with lying right into the later years.

Confidence is very important no matter the age. We encourage the importance of embracing individuality in my daycare. Helping at a young age for them to see how amazing they are, exactly as they are. Embracing interactive play at all ages, and the importance of helping each other learn how to be a good friend. Tall stories are okay, if they are acknowledged as a beautiful imagination. Even if someone gets cornered by their peers in a fabricated story, they are not allowed to call each other liars. No one is labeled. Instead the child is allowed to tell why they felt the need to embellish their story, and to correct the issue. No lies needed, no labeling required.

If staying home is not an option, do your future daycare a favor and socialize your children to help them adjust.

Help them learn how to nap independently. Expose them to as many foods as possible. Talk to them about being away from you. The toughest part for children, parents, and daycares is learning how to adjust to each other. There is a world of anxiety when it comes to leaving your child with a “Stranger” for the first time, and your child will feel your apprehension. Remember tears may happen no matter the amount of preparedness.

My daycare has always encouraged parental interaction on the initial first few visits, helping parents and children feel comfortable in the new surroundings. Napping helps break up the day, and most facilities will at least have a “quiet time”. Downtime is important for the children and daycare staff. It gives a sense of comfort for your child to wake up safely in the new environment. Food in any situation can be a comfort or a source of anxiety. You can always ask your future daycare for sample menus. The more exposure your child has to the new norms to their day, the more enjoyment they will get out of the experience.

Visiting your daycare prior to needing it will give you the flexibility of shorter days for your child, and for you to get to know the staff. Your comfort is important, and your child will learn comfort through your growing confidence in their new surroundings. Communication is key, it is very important that you express any and all concerns you might have, and you should feel confident that you are being heard. Your new daycare should always be willing to listen and do what is reasonable for the comfort of your child. Please remember this is your child. Daycare spaces are limited, but your child is priceless.

Home based daycares (like mine) tend to have smaller numbers, and can have a more intimate surrounding, but the distraction of more children in a licensed daycare facility might be what your child needs. Know what you want out of daycare, and give yourself ample time in trying to find the right fit for your family. Always ask for references from either type of care, and do your due diligence in following up on them. Remember cost does not always dictate better or worse care.

My day home usually requests children to be in comfortable clothing. Clothing that is easy to change diapers in, or use the bathroom, that you are okay with possible stains on, makes everyone happier. In addition we have an online group for parents to see some of the activities through out the day. Parents are encouraged to speak freely at the door, and to do drop in visits if they would like to. No day home/daycare should restrict parental involvement as long as it is in the best interest of the child. Transparency is especially important when it comes to meeting everyone’s needs.

Although this is just a sample of things to help yourself and your child with adjusting to day home/daycare settings, these are very important. Lot’s of how your children adjust will come with time. By getting them out socializing with their peers, you will teach yourself and them how to be without the comfort of each other.

You are a good Parent, whether you work, or are a stay at home parent. Even if you need breaks from your children.

You are exactly who your child needs.

From the soccer Mom, to the Hockey Dad, spelling bees, to swimming lessons, your words of encouragement mean the most.

It is okay to drop your children off at daycare, or with grandparents, with a babysitter, or at a friends place, so you can have a day to yourself.

You are your child’s advocate, speaking up for them builds their trust in you.

Your time alone is important.

Your children are grateful for any time you spend with them.

You can ask for help and still be a good parent. Limitations affect all of us. Parents, if a friend wants to help, take the offer. We all deserve help.

It is okay for your children to see you angry, or sad. It is amazing for them to see you as capable of emotion, and how you overcome your own big emotions.

Remember admitting things are rotten does not mean you’re giving up, you are teaching your children resilience.

Baby steps are not just for babies. Your children will love the effort you put into learning about their interests.

It is okay to set boundaries that are best for your family.

Your mental and physical health matter as much as your child’s.

Today is a new day, a new morning affords us the opportunity to start again. We learn and become better parents each new day.

Despite life’s challenges, your children feel loved and safe.

By taking care of yourself, you are teaching your kids the value of self-care.

Your child is not giving you a rough day, they are having a rough day, you can help. Breathe, and respond calmly in the moment. You can handle this.

This too shall pass.

It is okay to get fast food, cereal, or a sandwich, if you’re too tired to cook.

You are growing as parents, and you need to grow as a couple. Date nights are worth the effort. Having fun with your spouse, without your children, teaches them how much you value each other.

Self care is not selfish.

You are a good parent, you are a good spouse, but mostly you are a good person.

Over the years the daycare has evolved to include new routines, rules, and many new faces. One thing that has never changed however is my strong devotion to include education and mindfulness, as well as giving each child the opportunity to explore their own individuality. Children are complete, wonderful, and separate individuals, and should be allowed to maintain their child like enthusiasm in all aspects of learning, and growing.

It is easy to try and follow charts for milestones, expecting each child to fit the mold. Not that people should not be aware of the norms, but all children grow and change at their own rates. Keep it in the back of your mind, but don’t change who they are. Growth happens, and progression is different for each child. Do not let it overshadow their natural talent, or inhibit their self awareness through play and nature. Always allow them to be children first and foremost.

My daycare has never raised children based on age, or gender. Age is something we pay attention to, but only for markers that may link to being differently abled, and/or physical impairments that might require intervention. I have had 4 year olds with natural musical abilities, 3 year olds reading chapter books, artists, all because limitations were not imposed. When children are given opportunities to explore interests and their environment, their natural abilities shine through. Purposeful play is our constant in the daycare. Here are a few examples of them and why we encourage it.

Creative arts – multi sensory through music, and visual arts.

Drawing – fine motor skills, and almost all cognitive processes to sharpen their minds

Outside – basic fundamental information about the world.

Collaborative play – team work, understanding each other’s strengths and differences.

There are so many ways to help children reach their full individual potential. The responsibility lands on being a thoughtful educator. Teaching them how to learn in a manner that is compatible, meaningful, and memorable. Best of all if they have fun they will want to continue to learn.

For today’s post, I thought I would share a handful of the parenting truths that I’ve realized over the years. Some may be obvious, and some are a bit more niche. Enjoy!

• they will not sleep in if they stay up later the night before.
• straightaway you will want the naps you didn’t take as a child.
• if it can be mispronounced, it will be, and it will sound like a swear.
• shoes on the wrong feet don’t matter if they put them on themselves.
• if there is a hole anywhere on their clothing they will stick their fingers in and make the hole bigger.
• their snot will find it’s way on to your work clothes.
• getting up earlier to have a cup of coffee before they wake up is heaven.
• you will envy the parent that has the child that sleeps till 7:30am.
• if they can make a mess with it, they will.
• you will never sleep soundly again.
• hiding in a bathroom or closet to eat a chocolate bar is your new reality.
• you will share every morsel of food off of your plate.
• accordingly, the same food on your plate will taste better.
• the same food loved on Monday will be hated on Tuesday.
• children will swear at the most inopportune time, and very loudly.
• little feet will find their way to your face in the middle of the night.
• silence is now feared.
• children will almost always get sick when something important is planned.
• their tears stop the second you leave the daycare.
• poop will become part of your vocabulary.
• additionally if their stomach is sore they probably need to poop.
• going to the bathroom is a mini holiday if you lock the door.
• indeed, if you don’t lock the bathroom door your children will come in to visit.
• you will find yourself humming children’s songs.
• cartoons are still amazing.
• if you think you should take a picture of it, they will never do it again, no matter how prepared you are to get the picture.
• being a parent gives you the right to be silly and sing in public.
• you will never love another human being as much as you love your children.
• you are their first love.

Christmas is close, and I can feel the energy all through out every one of my littles. Indeed, their excitement for Santa, presents, and all their sheer joy for the season makes a person stop and catch their breath. It is such a magical time.

Teaching new Christmas carols in daycare, homemade gifts, playing in the snow, and warming up little hands are just some of the little things that make their days better despite this chilly season. The reflection of the glee in their eyes as we decorate sugar cookies, and bake buns for turkey sandwiches is wonderful. Unquestionably an amazing energy. I am grateful to be a part of their excitement.

To all the Parents, Grandparents, relatives, it’s not the gifts that are important this time of year, but the love. Children enjoy presents, the excitement of giving, the food, but above all they enjoy the time they get with family. Most of my little ones, may talk about one or two of their gifts, but its their time with you that they go on about. Sledding down a hill, ice fishing, marshmallows and cocoa, decorating the Christmas tree, and hanging out with their favorite people are some of the stories I get to hear year over year.

Cherish every second, and don’t fret over the gifts. Listen to your child, and they will emphatically tell you what they want most for Christmas. Bundle them up and take them to see their older relatives, in order to teach them the importance of family and friends. And please, if you’re taking pictures make sure all parents/guardians appear in them. You’re creating memories.

Breathe. They will love you no matter what. Laugh. The best gift to any child is a happy parent. Rest. Cuddle on the couch to a favorite movie. Love. Let them know that the greatest gift that you can receive is them, your child.