Exhausted

Saving me from myself.

tired mother asking for help while sitting with children

When I first got started with daycare, my children were little. Having other children around was wonderful for them at this stage. They looked forward to their daycare friends coming each day to play. Taking time off was very sparse for me. Not only was I trying to drum up business, but also trying to solidify my name as a respected day home provider. Word of mouth is a huge advertisement that requires no money. My evenings were busy with my children, so I occasionally did babysitting into the evening as well. Being in the public service industry can take a toll on a person. I felt as though I had to always be ready and willing to babysit, even at a moments notice.

For almost five years my holidays consisted of a maximum of 8 days off throughout the year. Guilt was always heavy on my mind any time I needed to close. Twelve hour days, Monday to Friday, every week. Families depended on me to remain open, so even with giving as much as three months notice it still made me feel guilty to close. Knowing if I couldn’t work, all of these families had to scramble for childcare in an already scarce environment. Daycare and Day home spaces, even back then,were few and far between. Working through illnesses both mine and my children, feeding suppers to children when Parents were running late, even occasionally keeping the kids over weekends.

The expectations of the families for me didn’t even come close to the expectations I had for myself. Trying to be the best in my field, balancing work and family, and trying to be a good spouse as well. The praise I received from the families was wonderful, always being at their disposal was phenomenal for them. But it started to take its toll on me, and my home life.

Slowly I began to realize I needed time off. Time to breathe, time to recuperate, and time to be a Mom to my kids. Exhaustion was starting to set in, and I knew I had to do something about it soon. Giving three months notice, I scheduled a week off in the summer. Ironically the families were for the most part accommodating, as well as understanding. Setting limits for myself was a huge learning curve. Teaching myself that I didn’t need to do it all, but pace myself.

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