They/Them and Gender Identity

Live and let live.

gender identity; siblings playing as knight and princess

In the present times, addressing children’s gender identity is an extremely delicate subject.

Throughout my experience, I’ve observed that children in my care tend to naturally align with their assigned genders. This could be due to the inclusive atmosphere at my day home, where acceptance is a cornerstone of our interactions. Young children perceive their peers as playmates and friends, overlooking gender distinctions and focusing on shared interests. Our approach celebrates diversity by highlighting each child’s unique strengths.

Upon arriving at daycare, little girls may declare themselves as mermaids, and for that day, they embrace their mermaid personas. Likewise, boys might embody dinosaurs, responding with joyful roars. The emphasis isn’t on labeling their gender, but rather on nurturing their self-acceptance. True self-esteem emanates from embracing oneself without the need for transformation. Our activities range from donning sparkly dance costumes to constructing cities in the sandbox, transcending conventional gender roles and allowing children to revel in their environment freely.

Among the children, some boys take pleasure in coloring rainbows, while certain girls adore the color black. My primary concern is instilling self-assurance in these young individuals, fostering their confidence in their unique identities. They learn that ladybugs, butterflies, and spiders exhibit both female and male characteristics. The key message is helping them realize their innate perfection and empowering them to be unapologetically themselves, without the need for alteration.

Hair and attire hold no sway over a person’s essence; friendships are not dictated by clothing choices. If my boys opt to wear dresses and my girls sport short hair, it’s a non-issue. Their age prevents them from making life-altering decisions, hence our focus is on wholeheartedly embracing them for who they are. For instance, a resilient young girl with short hair and interests stereotypically seen as masculine, or a boy who embraces dresses and sparkly crayons with equal enthusiasm. Nurturing their positive self-esteem and self-acceptance is paramount, while also considering their mental well-being and the motivations behind any changes they express.

When a peer inquired about my pronouns, I confidently responded, “I am awesome; I identify as awesome.” Let’s encourage children to embrace their innate “awesomeness” and shield them from external insecurities. To understand my life choices, engage with me, and I’ll gladly share my world. The mantra is simple: live and let live.