“Are you making good choices?” A sentence that has been ringing in the ears of my daycare for years. Before any form of discipline is given in the daycare or even with my own children I always ask that question.
It is important to establish that children fully understand what they are doing in an unfavorable situation. Given the chance to rectify the issue, it also gives them an opportunity to see what their words or actions are doing in their environment, and how it is affecting their peers. The step back aids in getting them to assess their actions, show remorse, and stops the behavior before it becomes a repeated concern. It’s important to reinforce that “good choices” help in heading in a positive direction through praise and recognition, whereas “bad choices” will end up with negative consequences, and possibly further disciplinary action.
Everyone has their own idea of appropriate discipline. Daycares are very restricted, so we get creative. Working with Parents, creates harmony and solidifies boundaries. Daycare staff have to be approachable, to achieve parental confidence. When both environments combine, it creates a beautiful, clear, and concise climate for the children.
I am a firm believer that negative behavior merits negative consequences, and to always acknowledge positive behavior with praise and appreciation. Children like attention, and will seek attention whether it be unfavorable or affirmative, especially if they feel “unseen”. Teaching and promoting “Mindfulness” definitely alleviates unfavorable behavior.
It is vital to discuss inclusion as a desirable behavior to “making good choices”. Bullying is not a good choice, so it should be addressed. You don’t have to like everyone all the time, but never make a person feel bad or attacked. Little people have big emotions, learning how to regulate them is a worth while endeavor. The daycare promotes “using our words”, or having “alone time” at the table. It helps diffuse situations. Some children prefer seclusion, a safe place to let their emotions out in different ways, being given a better choice rather then hurting, or demeaning, another person.
“Be the person you needed as a child”, a sentence that always resonated with me. We must be role models for making good choices. Remember little eyes are always watching.