Daycare Lady, Author at Memoirs of a Daycare Lady

Managing Unrealistic Expectations in Daycare

Collaboration between parents and daycares/day homes is necessary for development. Boundaries are put into place for the harmony of everyone.

In the realm of daycare, the balance between parental expectations and the reality of managing a day home is delicate yet crucial, which makes unrealistic expectations problematic.

Gratefully, I’ve had the privilege of retaining the majority of families over the years, and it’s not often there are unrealistic expectations. The key has always been my unwavering commitment to viewing my daycare through the eyes of parents, understanding what they desire in a childcare provider. Although not all expectations can be met to the tee, my goal has always been to ensure parents never feel disappointed in choosing my day home.

Addressing Unrealistic Expectations: What I Can and Cannot Do

1. Contact Napping: I understand the importance of contact napping, but given the demands of running a daycare, an hour of undivided attention is challenging. However, I prioritize teaching children self-soothing techniques and ensuring they feel secure in their new environment.

2. Individualized Meals: While I can accommodate allergies and medical needs, individual meals for every child aren’t feasible. I encourage children to try new foods and adjust portion sizes. For preference-based dietary choices, I incorporate them into meals where possible, but the emphasis is on teaching children to develop a diverse palate. After all, they don’t have to like it, they just have to eat it.

3. Toilet Training: I actively assist in the toilet training process, celebrating each successful step. However, consistent toilet training requires collaboration; if it’s not reinforced at home, progress might be limited.

4. Breaking Soother/Bottle Habits: I provide alternatives to help children transition away from soothers/bottles. However, parental involvement is essential; habits formed at home need to be reinforced for lasting change.

5. Extended Operating Hours: My daycare operates for long hours, but extending them further is challenging due to the stress and demands of the job. While some daycares offer evening and weekend services, my current setup doesn’t allow for this additional availability.

6. Respectful Behavior: Respect for surroundings is foundational here. Destructive behaviors like crashing toys or jumping on furniture indoors are not allowed. Outside, running and loud play are encouraged, teaching children to respect both their environment and others.

The Role of Parental Involvement and Reasonable Requests

While there are limitations to what I can provide, parental involvement and reasonable requests significantly impact the daycare experience. Working together, we can enhance the environment for everyone involved. By understanding the challenges and appreciating the boundaries, we can create a harmonious space for your child’s growth and development.

Unveiling the Nuances of a Typical Daycare Day

Not your typical job

A typical day of daycare involves meticulous planning, unyielding effort, and unwavering dedication, yet many remain unaware of the intricate details shaping these hours.

In this glimpse into a typical day, discover the rhythm of activities that define my role now that my own children have grown.

6:00 am: Rise and shine, get dressed, prepare coffee, grab a quick bite, and ready breakfast for early arrivals.

7:30 am: Open the door to welcome the first child. After hanging up jackets, setting shoes aside, and washing our hands, it’s time for breakfast, (sometimes) changing into the day’s clothes, and engaging in quiet play.

8:45 am: Clean up after breakfast and guide children to tables for coloring, puzzles, or Legos.

9:00 am: Energizing morning exercises with the kids, followed by discussions about the days of the week and the calendar.

9:30 am: Dive into a captivating story, followed by free time and dancing.

9:45 am: Prepare snacks and ensure children wash their hands or take a bathroom break. This means checking diapers, making sure toilet training children “try”, and changing or assisting as needed.

10:00 am: Snack time and a refreshing drink, followed by cleaning the table, washing dishes, and gearing up for learning activities. Learning materials and stickers for completed tasks come out.

10:20 am: Assist children with learning pages and begin preparing lunch.

10:45 am: Weather permitting, head outside to play. In case of unfavorable weather, opt for baking or crafting indoors.

11:30 am: Transition inside, encouraging gentle play and quiet voices while preparing lunch. If we stayed inside, it’s time to clean up toys and have some free time.

12:00 pm: Lunchtime! After cleanup and checking diapers/bathroom breaks, I serve meals, drinks, and desserts as they finish.

12:45 pm: Help little ones settle for nap time and older children for quiet activities.

1:00 pm: Tackle household chores (wash dishes, clean kitchen, wash down bathrooms, wash kitchen floor), grab a quick lunch, and prepare an afternoon snack. Keep an eye on the sleeping children.

2:00 pm: Engage older children in crafts, baking, or quiet activities at their discretion, listening for the little ones waking up. Encourage gentle play and indoor voices.

3:00 pm: Snack time again! Check diapers and assist with toilet training. Clean up napping areas and mats.

3:30 pm: Everyone enjoys snacks and drinks, followed by washing up and cleaning the table and children.

4:00 pm: Weather permitting, outdoor playtime; otherwise, engage in circle time with interactive games. Encourage gentle play and indoor voices.

4:45 pm: Begin shutdown procedures, assisting with shoes and jackets, cleaning up, and preparing crafts and learning materials to take home. Allow educational TV time until pickup.

5:15 pm: Inventory check, cleaning, and communication with parents, ensuring a smooth handover of their children’s day.

5:45 pm: Update the daycare’s social media page (for parents only), complete final cleaning tasks, and ensure all lights and rooms are secure.

6:00 pm: Finally, I sit down with my husband, savor supper, and breathe after a fulfilling day.

Despite the challenges like handling a teething child or adapting to unexpected situations, my love for this career and caring for these children remains unshaken. It’s not merely a job; it’s a passion and a commitment that fills my days with purpose and joy.

We’re thrilled to announce that our blog has been ranked fifth in Feedspot’s list of “15 Best Babysitter Blogs and Websites To Follow in 2023“!

This recognition wouldn’t have been possible without our amazing community and dedicated readers. Thank you for your continued support, and we’re committed to providing you with even more valuable content in the future.

Think Outside the Box in Childcare: My Journey to Success

Keeping routine is tough when little ones don’t feel well.

I must admit, not all of my methods are foolproof, and not all children seamlessly fit into my routine, requiring me to think outside the box. Time can be a caregiver’s best friend, provided the parents are willing to embrace my sheer determination to understand their child better. This journey has had its share of challenges, including tears at the door, refusals to attend, and countless time-outs.

However, it’s in these moments that I’ve learned to step back, reassess, and think outside the box.

One of the toughest challenges I’ve encountered in my childcare career was a child who struggled to acclimate to daycare. Fortunately, this was the second child from the same family that I had been working with for four years, so the trust factor was already in place.

Then came the unexpected curveball—gastroenteritis hit the daycare. It disrupted routines, led to upset tummies, and forced us to rely on healthy bland foods like crackers, bananas, and plenty of water. The daycare turned into a place of rest and quiet play as we all battled the illness. Many parents had to take time off work due to the outbreak, and this family was no exception. They were gone for a full week, and for a child, a week feels like a lifetime.

When the child returned, it was a tough transition. At home, he had received plenty of attention, been allowed to eat whatever he wanted, and had the freedom to do as he pleased—a scenario ideal for a sick child but not conducive to the daycare environment. Allowing him some leeway at daycare, in fear of upsetting his tummy again, led to more problems. He became incredibly picky with his food, refused to drink water, and naps went out the window. It was a recipe for an upset, overtired, hungry, and angry child who demanded all my attention, which was challenging in a daycare setting where my time is spread among multiple children.

Despite my best efforts, including mixing favorite foods with regular ones and limiting snacks to stimulate his appetite, nothing seemed to work. Even allowing the child to eat only from his plate and not offering anything else didn’t yield positive results.

Seeking help from the parents was a dead end. They had adopted the idea of giving in to his demands to maintain peace at home, even if it meant unhealthy choices. It was time to shift gears and start thinking outside the box because my usual methods weren’t cutting it anymore.

I reached for my favorite recipe books and adapted recipes to meet the child’s nutritional needs while appealing to his taste preferences. I also introduced divided plates, smaller portions, and showered him with encouragement. Gradually, his eating habits returned to normal, and the battles subsided. This experience was a humbling reminder that sometimes, I need to set aside my determination and open my mind to new approaches to move forward.

In conclusion, my journey in childcare has taught me the power of thinking outside the box. It’s a reminder that adaptability and creative problem-solving are crucial, especially when faced with the most challenging childcare situations.

Funny Memorable Moments

Children are good for the heart

Daycares are brimming with heartwarming and funny moments, and mine is certainly no different.

Children often say the most amusing things during early childhood, and their actions can lead to some contagious laughter. Here are a few memorable moments of my time in child care that are not only funny but also incredibly heartwarming:

1. Kids and Bathroom Humor: Children have a natural inclination towards bathroom humor, although we don’t actively encourage it. After a delightful homemade vegetable soup brimming with fiber, beans, onions, and every conceivable vegetable, “quiet time” arrived, providing the little ones with a chance to rest. However, as we were preparing to go outside, a chorus of giggles erupted. The source of the amusement was quite apparent—the lingering aroma from the kids. Amid laughter, I reminded them to say “excuse me” when they let out gas. One of my young ones looked up at me and earnestly declared, “I didn’t fart; my bum burped!” 🙂

2. Movie Day Excitement: It was movie day at the daycare, and the air was filled with excitement as a brand-new Disney movie was released on DVD. The children prepared for their special movie day with crafts and treats. They meticulously crafted movie tickets with glitter and glue strewn all around. Caramel popcorn was whipped up, and brown paper bags were filled with this treat. “Finding Nemo” played on the television, and the kids were completely engrossed. Suddenly, one of the boys approached me and said, “I can’t watch this movie anymore.” Astonished, I inquired, “Why not?” He took a moment, looked at me earnestly, and replied, “I just ate.” Then, with the utmost seriousness, he continued, “My Mom says if I eat, I might get a cramp in the water.” 🙂

3. Learning Adventures: Learning is an integral part of our daily routine at my daycare, with age-appropriate lessons covering colors, shapes, letters, and numbers. We were immersed in exploring the alphabet through music and worksheets, and I was thrilled by how quickly the kids were catching on to the song. I decided to display the alphabet, helping the children connect the song with the letters. As they sang the song beautifully and pointed to each letter, one little girl looked perplexed and raised her hand. “The alphabet is wrong,” she declared. Intrigued, I asked her why she thought that. With an assured smile, she said, “There’s no ‘lemon pee’ in it.” 🙂

Every day with kids is a new adventure, and my daycare is certainly no exception to that rule! I hope you enjoyed these brief funny moments as much as I relished reminiscing about them with you.

The Daycare Rant: The Unseen Effort Behind Childcare

Meltdown Manager

Some days, it feels like no one truly comprehends the sheer amount of effort it takes to run a daycare or day home successfully.

The dedication to planning each day down to the smallest detail often goes unnoticed. Nor does anyone realize the stress of maintaining a calm demeanor amidst the constant chaos and emotional management involving children, parents, and caregivers.

Recently, I encountered a situation that left me both frustrated and disheartened. A distraught and tired child arrived at the daycare, carried by her parent, tears streaming down her face. It was her first day of kindergarten, a morning class. This little one was still recovering from gastroenteritis, and the excitement of her first day had completely worn her out. The parents had informed me beforehand that she would require lunch, and I had prepared a nutritious plate of food for her. Little did I know that there had been some bribery involved in the form of candy to convince her to come to daycare.

Had the parent allowed the child to consume the candy before entering the daycare, it wouldn’t have been a significant issue. Unfortunately, she arrived with it in hand. Our daycare policy emphasizes the importance of eating healthy before indulging in sweets, and if a treat is brought, it should be enough to share. Tired or not, if she was going to have something, it should have been the nutritious lunch I had prepared. However, when I expressed my concern to the parent, it led to an outburst of anger.

“I am the parent, not you!” the parent exclaimed. It was an undeniably true statement, but what happens at home doesn’t always align with daycare rules. We do not entertain anger at the daycare, and we prioritize the well-being of every child. Assessing the situation, I assured the parent again that the child would be allowed the treat, but only after she had eaten something healthy. I even suggested that the child consider taking a short rest before indulging. The child looked at me, gave a sly smile, and opened the candy. The parent stood there, glaring at me, so I bent down, took the candy, and told the child, “You’re just recovering from a sore stomach, sweetheart. I’d like you to put something healthy in your stomach first, and then you can have your treat as dessert.” The parent looked shocked and said, “Now I know why she says you’re mean!”

Taking their child’s hand and demanding she put on her shoes, they stormed out of the daycare. The child snatched the candy from me, smiled, and popped it into her mouth. My heart broke; the parent did not seem to have enough respect for me to understand the significance of what had just happened. I am not mean; I am simply looking out for the child’s well-being.

Later that day, I received a phone call from the other parent. I explained my side of the story, and thankfully, my intentions were understood. Moreover, the other parent extended an apology to me. The relationship between parents and daycare providers is delicate, and both parties need to feel respected and trusted. We all have bad days, but being called “mean” was deeply hurtful. My intentions are always to create a healthy, loving, and fair environment for all the children under my care. And with that, my daycare rant comes to an end.

Quiet Time

Down time is important for the salvation of patience, no matter your age.

It’s truly astounding how some parents question the necessity of incorporating “quiet time” into the daily routine of daycare. Unfortunately, not all parents realize the importance of allowing caregivers the opportunity to regroup and recharge during their busy day.

The demands of running a daycare can be physically and mentally exhausting. Constantly tending to children’s needs, from addressing their discomforts to managing diaper changes and lifting them into high chairs, is just the tip of the iceberg. On top of that, there’s the daily cleaning, food preparation, organizing crafts, and much more. And when you factor in responsibilities like meal planning, budgeting, billing, and attending to one’s own family, the pressure becomes even more overwhelming. Surprisingly, even during “quiet time,” interruptions are still par for the course.

Regrettably, some parents have unrealistic expectations. They anticipate that the daycare should always be spotless, children should be perpetually engaged in enriching activities, meals should consist of highly nutritious, homemade dishes, and there should be unwavering supervision without any disruptions or conflicts among peers. Achieving this ideal day is only possible when we, as caregivers, can find a moment of respite. It’s a brief pause for a plate of food, a cup of coffee, and a chance to tidy up and prepare for the remainder of the day. It’s a moment to simply breathe.

But it’s not just the caregivers who benefit from “quiet time.” Children also require these moments of tranquility. An overstimulated child often becomes anxious or irritable. During “quiet time,” children have the opportunity to engage in calming activities, such as reading or coloring quietly without needing constant attention. They can also enjoy a few educational cartoons or even take a nap, which is often much-needed. This time allows the children to recharge, making them more willing and enthusiastic participants in afternoon activities.

The journey of running a daycare is not always smooth sailing. “Quiet time” serves as a reprieve for all of us, offering a moment to pause and find solace in the midst of our beautifully chaotic world.

They/Them and Gender Identity

Live and let live.

In the present times, addressing children’s gender identity is an extremely delicate subject.

Throughout my experience, I’ve observed that children in my care tend to naturally align with their assigned genders. This could be due to the inclusive atmosphere at my day home, where acceptance is a cornerstone of our interactions. Young children perceive their peers as playmates and friends, overlooking gender distinctions and focusing on shared interests. Our approach celebrates diversity by highlighting each child’s unique strengths.

Upon arriving at daycare, little girls may declare themselves as mermaids, and for that day, they embrace their mermaid personas. Likewise, boys might embody dinosaurs, responding with joyful roars. The emphasis isn’t on labeling their gender, but rather on nurturing their self-acceptance. True self-esteem emanates from embracing oneself without the need for transformation. Our activities range from donning sparkly dance costumes to constructing cities in the sandbox, transcending conventional gender roles and allowing children to revel in their environment freely.

Among the children, some boys take pleasure in coloring rainbows, while certain girls adore the color black. My primary concern is instilling self-assurance in these young individuals, fostering their confidence in their unique identities. They learn that ladybugs, butterflies, and spiders exhibit both female and male characteristics. The key message is helping them realize their innate perfection and empowering them to be unapologetically themselves, without the need for alteration.

Hair and attire hold no sway over a person’s essence; friendships are not dictated by clothing choices. If my boys opt to wear dresses and my girls sport short hair, it’s a non-issue. Their age prevents them from making life-altering decisions, hence our focus is on wholeheartedly embracing them for who they are. For instance, a resilient young girl with short hair and interests stereotypically seen as masculine, or a boy who embraces dresses and sparkly crayons with equal enthusiasm. Nurturing their positive self-esteem and self-acceptance is paramount, while also considering their mental well-being and the motivations behind any changes they express.

When a peer inquired about my pronouns, I confidently responded, “I am awesome; I identify as awesome.” Let’s encourage children to embrace their innate “awesomeness” and shield them from external insecurities. To understand my life choices, engage with me, and I’ll gladly share my world. The mantra is simple: live and let live.

The Joy of Baking: Creating Lasting Memories

Baking is love made tasty

Indulging in the art of baking brings an unparalleled satisfaction – from the inception to the delectable end product.

Baking with young helpers requires a dash of patience and thoughtful preparation, crafting moments that etch themselves into cherished memories. Our journey has led us to craft an array of mouthwatering delights, spanning from simple cake box cupcakes to luxurious cream puffs filled with Bavarian cream.

A beloved and uncomplicated recipe we adore is the poke cake – a canvas for diverse flavors by tweaking the cake mix, gelatin, pudding, and introducing various pie fillings! Of course, classics like banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, and nutty peanut butter cookies (if allergies permit) hold their irreplaceable charm.

The magic unfolds as each child takes their turn in contributing ingredients, stirring or sifting with enthusiasm, and occasionally sampling (before the eggs find their way in). The gratitude mirrored in their smiles and the pride stemming from witnessing their efforts blossom are truly immeasurable. I often weave in crafting and storytelling, and any surplus baked goods find their way home with the children to share with their families. When I’m blessed with older kids, baking transforms into a lively lesson encompassing fractions, addition, subtraction, and even the art of recipe customization to awaken their creativity. At times, we delve into scientific wonders, concocting sponge toffee or observing the captivating metamorphosis of yeast into foamy perfection.

Embarking on a baking escapade with children demands a sturdy heart – after all, the batter-tasting spontaneity and the zest for self-involvement are all part of the package. Mistakes are as inevitable as they are endearing. The outcomes of our baking adventures, whether flawless or flawed, are united by the children’s love for togetherness. And I relish the kaleidoscope of recipes we explore, each contributing to the treasure trove of happy memories that will forever reside in their tender hearts.

Now, I’m curious: What are some of your most cherished recipes to conjure with the company of children? The enchanting world of baking is truly boundless and brimming with shared moments of warmth and joy.

When to Foster Independence

Nurturing independence is an art

Knowing when to step in and guide an independent child can be challenging.

While teaching is pivotal, it’s essential not to rush to their aid immediately. Instead, providing guidance can facilitate their success with minimal interference, promoting the development of children’s independence. The remarkable self-esteem that blossoms from persevering towards a goal, particularly when achieved independently, underscores the significance of this process. Patience, a crucial factor, plays a vital role in nurturing children’s autonomy. Impatience might lead to them feeling hurried, potentially hindering their accomplishments. As responsible adults, making prudent decisions is imperative. Carefully observing whether they’ve exerted sufficient effort or if frustration is impeding progress is essential. This assessment helps distinguish between addressing our own impatience to see things done and genuinely determining if assistance is warranted.

In my childcare setting, I prepare children for routine changes by offering warnings. For instance, I might say, “We’ll begin cleaning up in 15 minutes,” and provide subsequent reminders every 5 minutes until cleanup time arrives. To support their success, I ensure ample time for task completion and emphasize that I’ll be there to assist once they’ve given their best effort—collaborating with them, not completing the task on their behalf.

Recognizing my occasional impatience, I take care not to let it negatively impact the children. They shouldn’t face consequences for my own shortcomings. Employing natural consequences can help children grasp the importance of time management, like explaining, “The longer it takes to tidy up, the less time remains for arts and crafts before lunch.”

Clear directions eliminate confusion and expedite task completion. Encouraging effort, even in the face of frustration, nurtures resilience. Acknowledging the child’s accomplishments, no matter how minor, especially when achieved through their individual diligence, reinforces their independence. If frustration surfaces, promoting deep breaths and open communication is essential. Prior to rushing to assist, assess the situation. Remember, you’re the adult, and they’re the children—expectations won’t always align. Tailoring tasks to their age level is crucial. This doesn’t entail lowering standards, but rather allowing room for mistakes and growth. Stay vigilant for signs of anxiety, anger, and frustration. When they do seek help, ensure it’s genuinely needed.

Fostering children’s independence is a gradual, intentional process. By striking a balance between support and autonomy, we empower them to navigate challenges and triumph independently.

To Teach or Not to Teach

Teaching is a work of heart.

Back before I made the decision to open a daycare, I had the fortune of working in a school as an EA (Education Assistant) to help teach.

Although it was only for a short term, the job was amazing, and I must admit I do miss it. Working with teachers in an elementary school was such an honor for me. My respect for teachers is and always will be very deep. One of my personal goals was to become a teacher, a profession that makes a difference (Not that what I do currently doesn’t). Teaching almost felt glamorous to me, so highly respected. I had the opportunity to work with two very accomplished respected teachers, a dream come true. I became more experienced throughout the school year, the teachers began to trust me to work with some of the children. Some of them had disabilities, and some children were struggling to keep up.

Relishing in this new responsibility I worked tirelessly, reading all the material they gave me to learn from. Their trust in me extended to the parents. I was allowed to sit in on the parent teacher conferences. Pride in my work with the students showed through the children’s achievements.

There was a student that had failed to grasp some of the concepts. He needed much more help than what I could solely give. Encouraging me to continue trying, working on different ideas, the teacher was very supportive. In addition, the teacher gave up her lunch hours to work with this student as well. Sending extra work home to help him progress, but having it coming back incomplete. We wrote in his homework journal the importance of parental involvement in his success, only to discover that it hadn’t even been acknowledged.

Although his achievements were low, ours and his efforts were starting to show. His frustration with concentrating, and his inability to grasp some of the concepts, discouraged him. He trusted us to know he was safe in expressing his frustrations, though kindly, we tried to help him calm himself, to focus. His and our efforts went unnoticed by his parents, nor did they participate in his success.

The teachers felt I deserved the recognition, and the praise that comes from happy parents. Feeling honored, I got to to join in the Parent Teacher conference. The parent of the child we worked so hard with was next. Visible angry, she sat down in a huff, presenting her child’s report card. I was shook by this person’s behavior.

The teacher prepared for confrontation. The parent roared her disapproval of her child’s lack of achievement, she glared at both the teacher and I. This was the parent of the student we had both devoted so much time to, working tirelessly helping this child learn. This student had an undiagnosed but obvious learning disability, symptoms completely ignored by his parents. Time and time again both the teacher and I had sent home extra homework, and notes explaining how this student was falling behind. Unfortunately this parent did not see our point of view.

Asking me to step out of the room, the teacher explained in detail everything we had done to help her child. Ending the conference the teacher said that with a proper evaluation her child could get the help he desperately needed. Yelling, the parent degraded the teacher, berated her with foul language, and proceeded to threaten to pull her child from her classroom. “You are failing my child!”, she yelled as she stormed off slamming the door behind her. Glaring at me as she stomped off. Knocking on the door, I slowly opened it asking the teacher if she was okay, my heart broke. Tears streaming down the teacher’s face, she looked up and said “You might want to change your mind on becoming a teacher, after all, not all that glitters is gold”. 🙁