Author: Daycare Lady

Let them be bored

Being bored generates creativity

“I’m bored”, my answer, “Good, now do something to change it.” We live in a world of instant gratification. Being bored generates creativity. Crayons and paper, a good book, running your toes through the long grass, using your imagination.

My mind wonders back to a time when tablets and Netflix was not a part of our world. There is a constant struggle between doing too much and not doing enough when it comes to our children, the need to “busy” their day. A lot of parents have lost focus on letting children daydream, forgetting that this is essential to their mental and emotional development. Boredom creates the desire to find something new. Imagination needs boredom to come alive.

I am not saying that technology doesn’t have it’s place. But find alternatives, encourage other boredom busters, that encourages activity. There are creative ways such as through online yoga for kids, and educational programs as well. But going to the library, swimming, going for a walk, delving into the absolute beauty of a spiderweb, these are so worthwhile. This first five years of a child’s life are the most formative, don’t narrow it down to a ten inch screen.

“Oh ya!!!”

Grape smile giggles.

Back before I knew better, (I say that loosely, because I still use it for popsicles), I use to make powdered juice for the kids as a treat. I justified it’s use because I could control the amount of sugar that got mixed in. It made me smile to see their little purple or red stained smiles as they thanked me for their treat on a hot summers day.

Communication is key between parents and I, especially if they don’t tell me something important.

Well on this particular day, the kids had been absolutely fabulous, stellar, most excellent, so a treat was in order. One of the best parts of this sweetened goodness was that they got to vote for their favorite flavor. The choices were purple, red, yellow, or blue, and purple won by a landslide! They got to help with the water, the grape powder, the sugar, every part. Apple slices, crackers, and grape juice equals happy children 🙂

All of a sudden a parent comes in earlier than normal, asking hurriedly for her children. Happy little purple stained smiles greats their Mother. “Oh my goodness!” she says, I look at her bewildered. “We have family pictures in half hour, there is no way those grape smiles are going to wash off.” Honestly I had no idea, and I felt terrible, but I didn’t know.

Needless to say they are the proud recipients of two family pictures with three little grape smiles, one for them and one for me! Gratefully the photographer had touched up the other photos so not all was lost. Communication is key 😉

Rainbow Ice-cream

No one is born racist

Some days a person needs to embrace the simplicity of how a child thinks. Rainbow ice cream became a great start for teaching diversity. Differences and acceptance were taught and celebrated in my daycare.

One of my favorite “mistakes” was when one of my littles referred to another child as a chocolate person. We were having rainbow ice cream for dessert this particular day, and they were commenting which was their favorite flavor. As it turned out, the ice cream would become an amazing learning experience. This child genuinely wanted to know if they could lick the other child to find out how they tasted, and that they too wanted to grow up to be a chocolate person. Many of these opportunities helped me teach them diversity and that differences are wonderful.

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, all flavors of people are beautiful in their own way, the same but different. Although I never taught kids to be color blind, they were taught to acknowledge difference in a positive way. We embraced all races of people through stories, discussion, recipes, and art. We are all different and the same in many ways, and everyone should be celebrated. Rainbow ice cream, so many colors, and flavors coming together to create a tasty treat. Racism is taught, no one is born racist.

The Great Food debate

Even restaurants can be a great learning tool, teaching etiquette through indulgence.

For as much as I insist on healthy eating, my children enjoyed going to restaurants and eating fast food as well. More often than not I used it as a tool for my parenting advantage. One of the building blocks for strong minds and strong bodies is teaching through opportunity.

The struggle is real when it comes to going to a restaurant with little kids opposed to just getting takeout. Going to a restaurant can help instill “proper” social skills, and table manners. Since practice makes perfect, pretending to be at a restaurant at home to teach etiquette can be an important tool, the reward being children who are better prepared for the actual event. Behaviors being modified through play can ease the pressure. Once at an actual restaurant, it helps to be patiently firm, using gentle correction, and above all avoid creating a scene. A lot of restaurants can and will put a rush on children’s food, giving them more time to eat. Children will make mistakes, so being prepared with fidgets,(i.e.: coloring), and conversation that includes your children sets a peaceful scene.

Being patient through this process is key. If you need to leave mid meal in order to keep it as a positive experience than do so, don’t hesitate. Watch your children for cues that they are just done, since their patience levels do not always match our own.

Takeout at home can be a great tool for teaching balance. “Treats” are not the enemy if done in moderation. Children imitate us, so when we show control, allowing for the odd indulgence, we bring in balance. Most, if not all, fast food places will have healthier alternatives too, such as apple slices instead of french fries. Keep it fun, since “all work and no play”, gets old fast.

Little ears are listening

You don’t think they are listening, but they are 🙂

My daycare has always been run with deep breathing, patience, and a lot of time management. But to err is human, and occasionally, the deep breathing doesn’t work, patience wanes, and frustration rears its ugly head.

Never have I ever used foul language around the children, but I was very creative in voicing my despair/frustration, for example: “For the love of Michael Samson”, or “Firetruck”, and occasionally “Rotten Avocado”. Nothing offensive, or that could be misconstrued.

One day one of my children comes in with tears and a Mother that was stifling her laughter. I look at her in question, she says to me. “Do you listen to Michael Jackson around the kids?”. I look at her bewildered and respond, “He might come on the radio when we are playing outside. The kids like to dance in the grass, why do you ask?”

At this point she is laughing even harder and says, “Well Suzy just stumbled, hurt herself, and mutters under her breath, “For the love of Michael Jackson, Hee Hee!””. I couldn’t contain my laughter

Sadness

Accept, experience, and eventually overcome.

In a previous post I touched on dealing with anger in a child, and commented that sometimes uncontrolled anger can accompany tears. Anger and sadness can go hand in hand. We all have those days of feeling down, the blues, and children are no exception. Children may be more intentional with their emotions, but it is also less understood by them. Coping through mindfulness and communication is my “go to” to teach them how to deal with big emotions.

Mindfulness can change how a child processes sadness. Directed questions such as “Are you feeling overwhelmed?”, or “Can I help you feel better?”. Survey the environment, look at the situation, and as an adult act accordingly. Never dismiss the emotion. The skills learned early in life become a part of coping even as an adult.

When a child is crying and having a tough day at daycare, we always encourage them to use their words to aid in helping them with their big emotions. Absolutely no degrading, no anger, just patience and understanding while they sort out how to communicate with us. Sometimes they just need to feel sad for awhile, so we sit with them, comfort for their tears, or give them space. When ready, moving to deep cleansing breaths, and holding their hand, or if they need it a warm hug. No matter what they need to help them feel better, we offer them comfort in knowing this is a safe place.

Its important for children to know its okay to feel sad. Its just as important for children to know it is okay for them to ask for help if they can’t bring themselves out of their blues. It is crucial for a trusted adult to validate and initiate change to help them return to a calm state. A healthy reminder that emotions effect everyone, and that how they are feeling is normal, and should pass. Accept it, experience it, and eventually overcome.

Perfectly imperfect

Empowerment through making mistakes

One of the biggest rules for raising my children, and subsequently my daycare kids, was “I won’t do for you what you can do for yourself”. To be clear, teach them, make sure they are capable, and it is safe for them. Mastering a task comes from learning, making mistakes, and doing it as many times as needed. Show them how to do it, and let them learn how to do it on their own. Your children will become far more empowered through doing things for themselves.

Time is always of the essence, but patience is truly a virtue when it comes to letting children learn through their mistakes. Sometimes even taking a step back, letting their pride show through your praise of their imperfectly made bed (for example). Giving praise even with an error at their task and allowing them to correct their mistakes will give them the drive needed to try again. It is very discouraging when your little and you are constantly being told your efforts are not good enough. I have seen many children give up trying. Motivation comes from being given an opportunity to fail and then to correct it. Its learning and knowing that hard work and determination gets rewarded.

Chores are important for children to learn. Being part of a family/daycare, we all do our part. No task is less important than the next. Putting toys away, clearing dishes, helping with washing tables, all important and simple but highly rewarded through praise. Children will begin to ask for more responsibility, and have more confidence in their abilities. We try to teach independence so it is easier when they go to school. Teaching them that it is okay to ask for help, and learning from mistakes.

Let them be little

Open yourself up to new ideas

One day my staff and I had decided we wanted to take the little ones to the public swimming pool. The children were excited and pumped up to use the waterslide. Had I done my due diligence, I would have discovered the pool policies would not allow our group in without written permission from each parent. Down heartened we decided to have our first water day at daycare instead, hoping it would be enough to brighten their spirits.

We pulled out our paddling pool, sprinkler, sunscreen, and put on their swimsuits. My heart hoped this change would suffice, and cloud their disappointment. As their joy began to expand and laughter began to overflow, there was one little one that came up to me and said, “But there is no waterslide”, she looked down and walked back to the sprinkler. My heart broke, I had forgotten that they had been excited about the waterslide. My mind raced trying to think of an alternative, it dawned on me how to create a little magic to their day.

Pulling the paddling pool over to the slide, positioning the sprinkler near it so it would get wet, creating our own outdoor water slide. Feeling proud of myself, we began to help the kids safely slide down into the paddling pool. Little children slide very fast, sliding past the pool and onto the grass. Grass that was slowly turning into mud. “Let them have fun”, I thought to myself, I will deal with the consequences later…….

Little muddy children stood in line waiting to get washed, dressed, and ready for lunch. So much mud! We decided to spray them down outside through their giggles. Outdoor swimsuit showers for all 🙂

Smiles across their faces, all with hungry bellies eagerly eating their lunches. My one little girl looked up from her plate, smiled, and said “This was the best day of my life” 🙂

“No”

Sometimes the word “no” is not the enemy

How did “No” become such a hated word? A word that our world has decided should be disgraced? There was a time I put in an effort to not use the word “No”. My thesaurus was completely exhausted lol 🙂

A particular story comes to mind that helped shape my resolve on the word “No”…

As a long time daycare provider, my daily life revolved around little people under the age of five. Admittedly most of my time was spent sitting on the floor playing games with the children, and refereeing. One particularly challenging child was working on “being gentle” and sharing with me. As a result I found myself saying “No” way too much, so I began looking up alternatives. Zed is not the child’s name, but for obvious reasons …

“Hey Zed how about instead of hitting our friends we go play with a puzzle, we have to remember to use our words when someone upsets us”, I took a deep breath, Zed was angry so maybe this diversion would work.

“Zed, please explain why you broke the toy? Now it is garbage. Lets get a different toy, try again and please be gentle”, pleased with myself he selected a different toy.

“Zed, are we making good choices, how about coloring?”

The days turned to weeks. Zed continued down the same pathway, constantly being corrected. Finally after being mentally and physically exhausted, I sat Zed down with his parents. The conversation included everything the daycare had done to help resolve the the problem, all of the deterrents. Finally his weary Parents ask Zed, “Why didn’t you just stop misbehaving so you could play with your friends?”

Zed takes a deep breath, smiles and says “Well she never said No, every time I did something wrong, she gave me something new to do instead”

Superheroes

Parents need a time out too….

We are all superheroes in our own right. Some juggle full time work, parenting, sports, housework, mental health, physical health, as well as many different daily activities. Its no surprise that adults are getting overwhelmed, overstimulated, and most certainly overtired.

As an owner of a private dayhome I see many different forms of fatigue grace my door. As a result, I am an advocate of a “Day without children”. Many parents feel guilty when they leave their children in my care if they are not going to work. Please never feel that way, never take yourself for granted, we all need to breath.

When we give ourselves a much deserved break, we become better parents, spouses, friends, and individuals. Burnout happens too quickly and far too often parents feel ashamed to ask for help, admitting they are not always superheroes. Breaks don’t mean ignoring responsibilities, but prioritizing ourselves as important as well. We are our own responsibility.

My children knew all to well that during the day, (primarily because I worked from home) I was at their disposal, and they were given my attention as much as I could muster. I involved them in the household chores, and daily activities, so that once bedtime was done, it was my time. My time was and still is incredibly important to me.

Personal time should not be considered a luxury, but a necessity, just like eating, and breathing. Overall, downtime helps us parent better, increases our patience, and helps stave of the feeling of being inadequate and ineffective. Be your own superhero, your children will thank you.