Category: Daycare Lady

It is easy to take the every day norms of life for granted, especially when it has become second nature to you. I had the fortune of being a daycare provider for three little people who were in foster care with their Grandma. She (the Grandma) was desperately trying to provide for her grandchildren and continue her education. The juggling act that woman had on her hands was commendable. Social services contacted me and asked if I had space for these children in my day home. Explaining their circumstances, my heart could not say no.

As we got to know each other, the children grew to respect my position in their lives. The Grandmother trusted me to do right by her, and her grand children. She slowly trusted me with their story. The hurt all of these people had endured took my breath away, and made my determination to show them compassion that much more important. These children had come from a severely drug addicted Mother, and had been physically abused. They had been surviving off of very little, to no comforts we all take for granted. Grandmother, a very proud woman, had walked away from a very abusive spouse. She gained her strength to leave through attempting to make life better for her grandchildren. My mission had been set in stone, these children needed to know happiness.

My day home children had been raised to be inclusive. Welcoming these children into their daycare family was easy for them. Adapting them to our schedule was quite easy as well. They showed so much appreciation for everything. However, one particular day stands out.

Grandma had dropped off the children a little earlier, needing extra time to study for her exam that day. The children sat at the breakfast table with mine, and we all ate together. My husband gave me and the children a quick hug before heading off, including them. A simple act, but a needed one, especially for these children. The smile on their faces was unmatched by their gratitude for the simple act of the quick hug. Feeling included in my own personal family, you could see how much they craved these simple gestures. Continuing on with the day, I ushered them all into the bathroom to brush teeth, and wash up before the rest of the daycare kids showed up. The children loved the simple wholesome act, and brushed their teeth with delight.

As soon as the rest of the day home children began to show up, the bragging began. “We got to brush our teeth here”, the youngest smiled to his peers, “And we all ate breakfast together!”. The other children shrugged it off, not realizing how important these simple acts were. When their Grandma arrived to pick up the children at the end of the day, they gushed again about the “family” time they spent with me. Grandma smiled her shy weary smile, thanking me for helping her build their “bridge over troubled water”, my heart burst with pride for being seen as part of their healing.

Not that long ago one of my littles ran up to me, and gave me a hug. Putting my face into her tiny hands she asked me “Do you love me?”. Thinking quickly, smiling I replied, ” I love everything about you.” Her eyes sparkled like the sun, running over to another child she says, “Yup she loves me.” The little friend responds “Told you so!” 🙂 lol.

It is so incredibly difficult to not get completely attached to these little people. Their warm little hugs, the laughter while they play, so many reasons. Their love is so genuine. Somedays it helps when emotions run high, to remind ourselves of the rawness of their trust, knowing how easily it can be broken. Gratefully most children forgive faster than us adults.

Recently a new family started in my day home and she referred to what I do as “Co-Parenting”, I absolutely fell in love with this reference. Such a respectful way of describing the dynamics of the relationship between parents and me. Working together to raise amazing little individuals.

Do I love my daycare kids? Yes. Their love is so unique to each one of them. There are numerous pictures that adorn my wall, little notes of their appreciation to me. When I doubt how effective I am with each of them, I just look around me and see their drive to make me happy. My love for each individual helps remind me of the importance of my profession. The ache of letting them go is only eased by knowing I gave them my best.

Every day is new, each has it’s own challenges. Some days can bring a myriad of emotions. One memory of a bad day stands out. This day helped me learn how to stand my ground when it came to my policies in the contract for my day home. Billing has always been work first, paid on an agreed date, and budget for the day home accordingly. The rates charged by my daycare have always been fair, competitive, and generally never questioned. Gratefully very few families have ever defaulted on paying

As a child I was raised that respect is not easily earned by your peers, but more importantly you should always have respect for yourself. Most families respected the day home payment contract, very few questioned it. The intent of the contract is to always be clear that there is no flexibility on the payment and scheduling rules.

A new family had arrived for the “Meet and Greet”. Part of this meeting was to go over my contract, making sure of complete understanding. Due to the people who worked for me, (that also had other jobs), they required notice for their work schedule. It was stressed a minimum “two weeks notice of schedule change”, was completely necessary. The family knew and understood, without prior notice they paid for the days they scheduled with me.

Everything had been going very well, and the child was adjusting to the new environment. Suddenly without notice the Father started sending me last minute texts removing his child from daycare that day. After three missed days the Mother brought the child. Taking the time to remind her about the required notice, assuring me she understood. Giving grace on the billing, I did not include those three days, reminding her that I would not do this again. As time went on, the schedule would be given to me, and the Father would break it without notice.

Frustrated I charged for all days including the missed days on the following daycare bill. The Father sent me a text asking if he could talk to me. My anxiety went through the roof. Attempting to prepare myself for what was about to happen, I requested the meeting be the following day during daycare hours.

Demanding to know why the daycare bill was so much, anger was written across his face. Taking a deep breath, I showed him the sign hung on the wall that reminds everyone about the required two weeks notice of schedule change. “That is absolutely ridiculous!” he boomed. Reminding him that they signed a contract that also stated this, as well as reminding him that I verbally told them as well. “I have no intention of paying this bill.” he said. With all the respect for myself that I could muster, I responded with, “Then I have no intention of your family being a part of my daycare family. Please leave.” Deep breath on my behalf, the door slams shut as he leaves, I sink to the floor and cry. Tears stream out of relief that he left, and pride in myself.

A quick side note: The Mother of this child showed up a few days later apologizing for her husbands behavior, as well as paying me for my time. In additions she also asked me to reconsider being their day home, but I kindly declined.

We have always tried to show respect to every living creature, including insects. Some insects are harder to “love” than others, but lady bugs are an insect that is accepted by most children. I have so many memories that involved this little bug. One memory in particular still makes me laugh.

The daycare has always spent a great deal of time outside. Exploring our environment is always a must. This summer I had invested in insect catching kits, complete with little habitats for observation. Encouraging the children to look at many different insects, and being gentle. Ladybugs were the easiest to catch. One of the children was especially fond of the little red, and black polka dotted creatures. He had lots in his habitat crawling around.

As the sun started beating down, and the heat of being outside became too much to bare, we went back inside. The children were scared their new found friends would get hot in their little houses, so out of respect for the insects we released them into the shady areas of the yard. Or so I thought……

Cold glasses of water, and air conditioning helped squelch the heat of the day. Heading to the playroom for a cooler place to play. The children began sharing their excitement with each other about their bugs. One of the children spoke non stop about the ladybugs he caught, but kept making reference to them and showing the other children something in his hands. Thinking nothing of it, and pleased with their excitement over bug kits, I settled on the floor to watch and play games with the children.

Feeling something crawling on my arm, I looked and saw a ladybug. Taking the little bug into my hand I released it out the window. Sitting down again I see another one crawling up my pant leg, releasing it again out the window. I could hear some of the kids talking excitedly about the ladybugs and how wiggly they are. Their excitement bringing joy to my heart. Walking over to join their conversation, I notice yet another ladybug on the carpet. Catch and release. One of my littles was giggling, sticking his hands into his pocket and showing his friends his little possession. Low and behold, along with putting his ladybugs into the little habitat, he was also putting them in his pocket 🙂 Laughing, I had to take him outside for him to release at least 20 ladybugs!

The ladybugs had crawled out of his pocket, up his shirt, and in his pants. He laughed so hard as I tried to gently brush them off of him, rescuing ladybugs from his hair 🙂

A smile spread across my face that winter when I noticed a little ladybug living in one of my potted plants 🙂

When I first got started with daycare, my children were little. Having other children around was wonderful for them at this stage. They looked forward to their daycare friends coming each day to play. Taking time off was very sparse for me. Not only was I trying to drum up business, but also trying to solidify my name as a respected day home provider. Word of mouth is a huge advertisement that requires no money. My evenings were busy with my children, so I occasionally did babysitting into the evening as well. Being in the public service industry can take a toll on a person. I felt as though I had to always be ready and willing to babysit, even at a moments notice.

For almost five years my holidays consisted of a maximum of 8 days off throughout the year. Guilt was always heavy on my mind any time I needed to close. Twelve hour days, Monday to Friday, every week. Families depended on me to remain open, so even with giving as much as three months notice it still made me feel guilty to close. Knowing if I couldn’t work, all of these families had to scramble for childcare in an already scarce environment. Daycare and Day home spaces, even back then,were few and far between. Working through illnesses both mine and my children, feeding suppers to children when Parents were running late, even occasionally keeping the kids over weekends.

The expectations of the families for me didn’t even come close to the expectations I had for myself. Trying to be the best in my field, balancing work and family, and trying to be a good spouse as well. The praise I received from the families was wonderful, always being at their disposal was phenomenal for them. But it started to take its toll on me, and my home life.

Slowly I began to realize I needed time off. Time to breathe, time to recuperate, and time to be a Mom to my kids. Exhaustion was starting to set in, and I knew I had to do something about it soon. Giving three months notice, I scheduled a week off in the summer. Ironically the families were for the most part accommodating, as well as understanding. Setting limits for myself was a huge learning curve. Teaching myself that I didn’t need to do it all, but pace myself.

Music is a constant in my day home environment ( as is probably with any day care center). My daycare evolved from the first day I started, but the constant transformation always included my strong love of music. From children’s nursery rhymes, lo fi, meditative music, instrumental to more. Music is a tool to expel energy, for fun, for exercise, learning, and background noise. We sing. We dance. But not everyday is the same kind of music, just like us, we are not the same people we were yesterday.

The day I have in mind started off pretty rough, with plans being canceled. Everyone was in a somber mood, children included. Having made the mistake the day before telling the children we were going to the park in the morning, our plans dashed by the pelting rain from the sky. Sad little faces looking out the windows watching the sky, feeling the grey of the day. All of us hoping the rain would stop.

I had to figure out how to turn “their frown upside down”. The offered craft was met with some joy. However, their little minds had no desire for more with the craft finished. Overall playtime was met with arguing, and fighting over toys. Story time caused fidgeting and wiggling. There was no happy place for this rainy day. Then suddenly I had an idea. A smile spread across my face as I gathered the kids together. We put on boots, zipped up jackets, and bewildered little faces looked at me for answers.

Heading into the backyard, the kids started to giggle as the rain started to soak their hair. And we danced, and we sang, “Rain, rain, go away, come again another day!”. All while stamping in the rapidly forming puddles. Knowing we couldn’t stay outside for too long, we made the best of it. From one song to another, all songs about rain, dancing with shear delight! We soaked it all in 🙂

Although my profession is a positive part of my life, there was a brief moment that I questioned if I should continue. The goal had been set that once my children were in school full time, I would consider a career change. I honestly thought I wanted nothing more but a 9-5 job. I wanted to be able to call in sick, get holiday pay, come home to a clean house. All the perks of working for someone else. My house to be nothing more than the place my family comes to rest.

My youngest was born in November. We had made the difficult decision of not allowing him to start kindergarten until he was 5 turning 6. Creating another year of him being at home, as well as me. As the day loomed over my head during his year in kindergarten, I began the descent in how many children I cared for. Less families to dismiss once I found a new job. In addition, quite a few of my long term families had their last child heading into grade one, and would no longer be needing my services. Trying to make the best of this last year, we did everything fun as much as possible. Spending countless hours crafting, dancing, and playing outside.

A grey cloud started to follow me, questioning my every move. Doubt entering into my abilities to even find another job. The days were filled with laughter from the children, my little rainbows. My evenings began to spiral into despair. Trying to write out my resume posed to be an issue, I had been running a day home for over 8 years at this point, not seeing my worth. Finally my husband sat me down and suggested I book an appointment to speak to a career counselor. Gently suggesting I seek medical help to help get me out of my funk. So, I took his advice.

My doctor was a very sympathetic person, he sat beside me and let me talk, and cry. My doctor reminded me that I am only one person. He showed me that making a major life change is very difficult, and that I should be patient with myself. The Career Counselor was amazing. From showcasing all of the skills I had acquired throughout my career, the public relation skills, and helping me see my self worth. My cloud started to go away. On my last visit to my Career Counselor, I was filled with hope again.

My depression was never about my daycare, it wasn’t about the restrictions of my job choice. My depression had been in my own self worth. The stigma revolving around my profession as a babysitter, day home provider, early childhood educator, (whatever you choose to call me), of not being a “Real Career.” I wear all of my titles with pride. My gratitude journal is full. Some day I will make the choice to retire. But not now, for now I will remain the Unicorn of day home providers 🙂

There was so much uncertainty when I decided to open my day home. We had already made the decision that our children would not return to daycare (a story for another time). My work experience with children was limited to having been an educational assistant (one and half years; At that time, having early childhood education was not a requirement for working as an educational assistant in schools), many years of babysitting as a teenager, and being a young mother. But, being a single income family was not feasible for us, so discussions took place between my husband and me as our modest savings dwindled, and it became crucial for me to find a way to generate income.

Feeling the financial pressure, I began searching the “help wanted” ads in the newspaper, expecting to find evening and weekend jobs. But to my surprise, I came across an ad that offered an opportunity to work from home and take care of my own children; after contacting the ad and scheduling a meeting, my mind raced with thoughts on how I could impress and secure the job, and my older sister, who ran a daycare in a different province, kindly shared all her contracts and menu planning with me, which further fueled my determination to make a positive impression and solve our dilemma by offering a daycare solution.

When the family arrived, I felt a mix of nervousness and excitement, but as I began showing them my work from the school I had been employed at, the mother interrupted and asked about my interests in baking, crafts, my role as a mom, and more; instantly, my excitement grew, and I enthusiastically shared my passion for all things artistic, my parenting style, love for the outdoors. A smile spread across her face. This family was amazing! They were parents I could truly collaborate with, and their confidence in me gave me a tremendous boost. After discussing payment and agreeing to a three-month trial period, I embarked on this new journey with enthusiasm.

That family became my starting point, and to this day, we remain friends. My evolution as a daycare provider continued from day one, and I can honestly say that I am a better mother and person because of the decision I made. Never in all my years did I expect to love this role as much as I do, and now, heading into my 27th year, I have faced numerous challenges and obstacles, but I have absolutely no regrets.

Setting up my day home and growing it to what it is today took a lot of hard work and learning along the way. Below, you’ll find some options for literature that could help you along your way as well, in both physical and digital form (alongside a kindle for the digital option). Plus, the links help support the blog!