Category: Parent

I must admit, not all of my methods are foolproof, and not all children seamlessly fit into my routine, requiring me to think outside the box. Time can be a caregiver’s best friend, provided the parents are willing to embrace my sheer determination to understand their child better. This journey has had its share of challenges, including tears at the door, refusals to attend, and countless time-outs.

However, it’s in these moments that I’ve learned to step back, reassess, and think outside the box.

One of the toughest challenges I’ve encountered in my childcare career was a child who struggled to acclimate to daycare. Fortunately, this was the second child from the same family that I had been working with for four years, so the trust factor was already in place.

Then came the unexpected curveball—gastroenteritis hit the daycare. It disrupted routines, led to upset tummies, and forced us to rely on healthy bland foods like crackers, bananas, and plenty of water. The daycare turned into a place of rest and quiet play as we all battled the illness. Many parents had to take time off work due to the outbreak, and this family was no exception. They were gone for a full week, and for a child, a week feels like a lifetime.

When the child returned, it was a tough transition. At home, he had received plenty of attention, been allowed to eat whatever he wanted, and had the freedom to do as he pleased—a scenario ideal for a sick child but not conducive to the daycare environment. Allowing him some leeway at daycare, in fear of upsetting his tummy again, led to more problems. He became incredibly picky with his food, refused to drink water, and naps went out the window. It was a recipe for an upset, overtired, hungry, and angry child who demanded all my attention, which was challenging in a daycare setting where my time is spread among multiple children.

Despite my best efforts, including mixing favorite foods with regular ones and limiting snacks to stimulate his appetite, nothing seemed to work. Even allowing the child to eat only from his plate and not offering anything else didn’t yield positive results.

Seeking help from the parents was a dead end. They had adopted the idea of giving in to his demands to maintain peace at home, even if it meant unhealthy choices. It was time to shift gears and start thinking outside the box because my usual methods weren’t cutting it anymore.

I reached for my favorite recipe books and adapted recipes to meet the child’s nutritional needs while appealing to his taste preferences. I also introduced divided plates, smaller portions, and showered him with encouragement. Gradually, his eating habits returned to normal, and the battles subsided. This experience was a humbling reminder that sometimes, I need to set aside my determination and open my mind to new approaches to move forward.

In conclusion, my journey in childcare has taught me the power of thinking outside the box. It’s a reminder that adaptability and creative problem-solving are crucial, especially when faced with the most challenging childcare situations.

Knowing when to step in and guide an independent child can be challenging.

While teaching is pivotal, it’s essential not to rush to their aid immediately. Instead, providing guidance can facilitate their success with minimal interference, promoting the development of children’s independence. The remarkable self-esteem that blossoms from persevering towards a goal, particularly when achieved independently, underscores the significance of this process. Patience, a crucial factor, plays a vital role in nurturing children’s autonomy. Impatience might lead to them feeling hurried, potentially hindering their accomplishments. As responsible adults, making prudent decisions is imperative. Carefully observing whether they’ve exerted sufficient effort or if frustration is impeding progress is essential. This assessment helps distinguish between addressing our own impatience to see things done and genuinely determining if assistance is warranted.

In my childcare setting, I prepare children for routine changes by offering warnings. For instance, I might say, “We’ll begin cleaning up in 15 minutes,” and provide subsequent reminders every 5 minutes until cleanup time arrives. To support their success, I ensure ample time for task completion and emphasize that I’ll be there to assist once they’ve given their best effort—collaborating with them, not completing the task on their behalf.

Recognizing my occasional impatience, I take care not to let it negatively impact the children. They shouldn’t face consequences for my own shortcomings. Employing natural consequences can help children grasp the importance of time management, like explaining, “The longer it takes to tidy up, the less time remains for arts and crafts before lunch.”

Clear directions eliminate confusion and expedite task completion. Encouraging effort, even in the face of frustration, nurtures resilience. Acknowledging the child’s accomplishments, no matter how minor, especially when achieved through their individual diligence, reinforces their independence. If frustration surfaces, promoting deep breaths and open communication is essential. Prior to rushing to assist, assess the situation. Remember, you’re the adult, and they’re the children—expectations won’t always align. Tailoring tasks to their age level is crucial. This doesn’t entail lowering standards, but rather allowing room for mistakes and growth. Stay vigilant for signs of anxiety, anger, and frustration. When they do seek help, ensure it’s genuinely needed.

Fostering children’s independence is a gradual, intentional process. By striking a balance between support and autonomy, we empower them to navigate challenges and triumph independently.

Often we encounter different emotions and difficult situations with the children, and are constantly teaching emotional regulation. In addition to the daily conversations at the door about the kids, occasionally a parent needs an ear as well.

A family was going through a tough time, and I overheard a parent commenting about the unfortunate events that had led up to the family unit dissolving. Being an advocate for my littles, trying to always be aware, I took note of what was happening. Carefully watching the children for signs of distress. Taking some time to approach each parent about their own emotional well being.

The family found comfort in knowing that they had a support system in place for their children at daycare. Sadly one of the parents had decided to take a stance that led me to set up a boundary of accountability. The situation started with the Parent stating, ” I have to put my own mask on first, I can’t deal with the children’s issues at daycare.” It is still your parental duties to help with the needs of your children. When a daycare approaches a parent, rest assured, it is an issue that needs to be addressed.

Taking care of yourself does not allow you to put parenting on the back burner. People don’t understand the saying, so they assume by “putting on your own mask first” means to only take care of yourself. That could not be further from the truth. Breathe, make sure your addressing your problems so you can be a more effective parent, not an absent one. Your “Mask” goes on when you maintain your own emotional and mental regulation, setting boundaries, for self and others. Putting on your “mask first” is so you are better able to help those around you, not ignore your responsibilities.

Father’s day is a day that the kids enjoy, using their creative imaginations for crafts, and cards. A showcase of their love for one of their parents. Our part in the daycare is to help them discover the many reasons how they love and feel about their parent. The conversations that ensue are sometimes downright hilarious! I would love to share with you some of my favorites.

“How does your Dad show love”–

“My Dad loves my Mom and buys her “big people” red juice, but I can’t have any. But it sure makes my Mom happy, and I get to go spend the night with my Grandma”

“My Dad gives me big squishy hugs, cause he is squishy. Mom says its not okay to call Dad fat, so I call him squishy”

“My Daddy thinks its funny to fart and tell everyone I did it! Its so funny! My bum can’t be that loud! I love that my Dad is so stinky and funny!”

“Sometimes when its my Dad’s turn to get up with me, he lets me pick any breakfast I want, sometimes even ice cream!”

“My Daddy let’s me put make up on him so he is a pretty girl like me. Then we dance around the house and sing”

“What is your Dad’s job”–

“His job is to drive a car, drink coffee, and listen to his radio so he knows if he has to talk to bad people” (police officer)

“My Dad teaches children’s brains to learn”(teacher)

“He gets to build stuff, and wear a belt with a hammer, sometimes he yells at people to get to work”(Carpenter)

“My Daddy gets to play on a computer all day and count money, but he doesn’t get to bring it home”(Bank Manager)

“He gets to walk around a store and open boxes, doesn’t seem fun but he smiles when he goes to work” (Grocery clerk)

“Why do you love your Dad”-

“I love my Dad cause he gives me hugs and tucks me into bed. Sometimes I pull his finger and he farts!”

“My Dad cheers for me when I am playing hockey, he buys me a hot chocolate too! He says I skate like the wind”

“I love my Dad because he buys me food and toys. He likes to buy me toys he can play with too.”

“My Dad tells me he loves me every day and we sing loud in the car after daycare”

“Sometimes I love my Dad cause he plays games with me, and sometimes I love him more when he lets me win “

Children love both parents for many different reasons. It definitely makes my heart sing when I see the love they have for their Dad’s shine in their eyes, or the race to the door to see Mom. Happy Father’s day to all the fathers out there.

Dealing with changes in routine, even environmental and social changes, can create a plethora of emotions in children. Helping children deal with big emotions can sometimes be achieved with art. Finger painting, tearing paper, even just coloring in a coloring book, all wonderful elements and stepping stones to conversation, and calmness. Even as an adult I still find comfort in painting, drawing, writing stories etc. Repeating patterns is effective in regulating emotions, and the nervous system. (www.weareteachers.com) There are so many resources available now to help any of us Parents, Day homes, Day care centers, teachers etc., all at our fingertips for our little people. Take some time and explore art yourself 🙂

From discussing emotions, and singing about them, to drawing out how we feel, any outlet is still an outlet. One of my favorite crafts is to discuss how colors make us feel, and watching the stunned expressions on their faces when they learn how each color can affect their environment . Sunshine yellow makes us feel warm, red as angry, black and grey as sad, discussing all the colors. Little minds learning that sometimes when we can’t say how we are feeling, we can show our emotions through colors. Drawing mad lines, happy lines, even excited lines, then adding corresponding colors to create a story without words.

Adding in natural elements, and textures, is possible while creating art outside. Art takes on a different look when they are allowed to be barefoot and dig their little toes in the grass or sand. From Rock people, to making airplanes from twigs and leaves, there’s always so much fun and happiness. Children open up, and accept art as extensions as themselves. Their favorite art is their own art. Direction in teaching, and imagination when creating 🙂

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Many parents don’t realize how much their children see, or how much burden their little minds can carry. The stories children have told me over the years about things happening at home. Some stories have resulted in hugs, and deep conversations. Arguing in front of your child is not necessarily a bad thing, they can learn conflict resolution if done right. Never call each other hurtful names, or use curse words during an argument especially if your child is present. Your children will emulate your anger when they have disagreements with you, so teach them how to be “just” in your arguments. In addition, parents crying can teach them sympathy and compassion. There are numerous reasons we shed tears, use your words when you can to explain simply “why”. Showing “big” emotions at home can be a positive experience, if done right.

My own children got to witness my spouse and I in heated discussions. Not always as positive of an experience as I would have preferred, but they learned everyone has a limit and how we handled it. Learning that you can “Agree to disagree”. They also learned that sometimes you just have to walk away until anger subsides. Trying to shelter children away from adversity is not productive. Home should be a safe place, emotions shown, and then taught how to be regulated. In addition, the outside world is very different and not all people are raised the same, having different ways of coping with emotion. Teaching the negative in a positive way is the best course of action. Emotional strength, being able to understand when someone is being irrational, does not mean you have to be.

The strength to walk away. Humility to know when to ask for help, and teach them it is okay to ask for help by showing it through our actions. No one can know happiness without knowing sadness, same for joy and anger. Teach by example. Children have learned trust in knowing how to view my own emotions. I teach through words and actions. As an example: A brand new toy was broken, and I was visibly upset. The child in question asked me if I was mad at him, my response was very calculated, “No, I am very disappointed that the rules were broken. My feelings are hurt that you didn’t respect this toy, and now we will have to replace it. Now everyone will have to be patient until I can get a new one. I am sad that not everyone had a chance to play with it.”

Don’t cry over spilled milk, but you can be disappointed 🙂 Anger can hurt our feelings, but it does not have to define the rest of our day. Being mindful in our environment and aware of those around us will teach children how our own behavior effects those around us. Be intentional with our actions as much as possible, children are watching.

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Here are some resources that may help teaching your children how to handle their emotions.