Featured Archives

Today was a good day

Some days are amazing in daycare.

Today a parent brought me a fresh hot coffee.

Today a child gave me a big hug just because.

Today a child finally learned how to draw a circle (big milestone for this child).

Today the children helped pick up the toys without having to be reminded.

Today we all got to have dessert because lunch was successfully eaten with no issues.

Today we danced around the playroom to a new song we learned to sing.

Today the children used indoor voices inside.

Today the children laughed so hard that we had to stop what we were doing to just enjoy the moment.

Today I got to sit with the children and build with blocks, listening to their amazing imaginative stories.

Today the children got ready to go outside so quickly that we got an extra twenty minutes of beautiful sunshine.

Today I got to eat my lunch while it was still hot.

Today a parent gave me a complement on how much their children have learned since starting my program.

Today I got to high five the children for all remembering to wash their hands before snack.

Today I was sad to see the children leave for the day.

Today we all felt loved and appreciated.

Today I was excited for tomorrow.

Today I had a child scream non stop for over a hour, inconsolable, unreasonable, and refusing a safe space to diffuse so that the rest of the children didn’t have to listen to his rant. He wanted the tag taken off of his shirt and his Mom said no.

Today I had a child bite themselves very hard repeatedly because they didn’t want to put toys away and refused to participate in the next activity.

Today I had a child have such severe bowel movements that they had gone through three sets of clothing, and no parent or emergency contact to be found.

Today a child plugged a toilet so severely that a plumber had to be called.

Today a child bit five children so hard that they almost drew blood. The parent of the biter suggested I keep the child beside me and not allow him/her to play with the other children.

Today I had a child pick their noses so much they continuously had nose bleeds throughout the day.

Today I had to buy a child diapers that the parent refused to bring, stating that I shouldn’t have to change her child more than once a day.

Today I had a parent get mad at me for charging a late fee because they were only a half hour late.

Today I had a child headbutt me so hard that I felt woozy from the pain, as I was trying to stop them from ripping up a brand new daycare book.

Today I had an unscheduled child show up, and the parent rush out the door before I could turn them away. (Parent would not answer calls or texts)

Today I had a parent yell at me because her child refused to wear socks, and instead of possibly loosing them, I requested slippers or indoor shoes, trying to keep her child’s feet warm. Apparently I should be able to convince a strong willed two year old to keep socks on in a loving supportive way.

Today a child cut her hair while doing scissor practice.

Today I cried.

Today I was exhausted.

Tomorrow I will start all over again with smile on my face.

Feeling Under the Weather: The Dilemma of Sick Days in Self-Employed Childcare

The sacrifices of the childcare profession.

Being self-employed in childcare comes with unique challenges, especially when it comes to sick days. This isn’t about the all-too-common scenario of children arriving at daycare while unwell. Instead, it’s about the impact when I, the childcare provider, am feeling under the weather.

In my self-employment model, I don’t earn income on sick days, a significant financial consideration. But the implications extend beyond my lost wages. When I’m forced to close due to illness, it creates a ripple effect: families relying on my service often can’t go to work. While backup childcare plans are expected, the harsh reality is that many families lack alternatives. They either don’t have available friends or relatives, or they’ve exhausted their personal or sick leave at their jobs.

Children fall ill frequently, and for many families, sick days are a scarce commodity. Early in my career, I hired staff to cover for me during sick days, hoping to avoid closing my daycare. However, this often backfired as my employees tended to fall ill simultaneously. Being an employer also added financial strain, requiring a higher number of enrolled children to cover wages.

The dilemma of whether to work while sick is a tough one. Ideally, I would rest without hesitation, but practical concerns such as financial needs, childcare demands, and the responsibilities to working parents dictate my decision. More often than not, I push through the day, postponing rest until after the children leave. There have been instances where I’ve been so ill that I’ve requested parents to pick up their children early, only to end up working a full day due to their work constraints.

In contrast, government-run childcare centers have different dynamics. Sick days for staff are more manageable, with the responsibility of finding replacements falling on the directors. However, this can still lead to disruptions like children being sent home or moved to different rooms.

Running a home-based daycare as a self-employed individual magnifies these challenges. For example, if I close for a day, it prevents at least five adults from going to their jobs, compared to just one family being affected if a child is sick. This reality shapes my choice to often work while feeling under the weather, for what I see as the greater good.

Understanding and Nurturing Emotional Growth

Emotional regulations for parents

Teaching your children to be cautious, to question things, and to feel confident in their surroundings is crucial for their social and emotional development in early childhood. However, it’s important for adults not to project their own insecurities and anxieties onto their children. In my experience, I often hear parents say, “well when I was a child…”, but it’s essential to remember that each child is unique, with their own strengths and challenges.

For example, a parent might say, “She doesn’t like gymnastics, but I was good at it until I broke my leg. She just needs to learn to like it.” Or, “I was never good at school, so he probably won’t be either.” These attitudes can inadvertently impact a child’s self-esteem and hinder their emotional growth.

I’ve seen how these projections can create emotional and mental health challenges in children. In my role, I often reassure children that they are “Perfect just the way you are,” or “As long as I see you trying, I am happy with your work.” This kind of affirmative support is key in nurturing their emotional well-being. Additionally, children need to learn that correction is a positive way to learn, tailored to their abilities, not based on the parent’s projections.

Children have expressed to me their exhaustion from over-scheduling, like the 5-year-old who broke down crying due to a packed routine of dance, gymnastics, swimming, and weekend tournaments. This highlights how parental expectations can sometimes overlook the importance of balance in a child’s social and emotional development.

One particular case involved a child who suddenly developed separation anxiety when his routine changed due to his parents’ work schedules. His mother’s own anxiety about leaving him only intensified his distress. By working with the mother to address her anxieties, we helped her teach her child to cope with separation, an important aspect of emotional development in early childhood. We used consistent routines and reassurance, like sending pictures and texts to show he was doing well, to ease both their anxieties.

Listening to your child is paramount. They may not always express themselves with words, but their body language speaks volumes. Choosing the right battles and understanding their individual needs plays a vital role in their social and emotional development during these early, formative years.

Enhancing Communication in Childcare: A Daycare Provider’s Tale

Never be in such a rush that you forget the details.

The Challenge of Effective Communication in Daycare

The love and devotion that goes into running a child care center is phenomenal. Once you get yourself clearly established, it’s wonderful. Having a great reputation in my community as a child day home, I boasted about my quality childcare and reliability. My daycare was closed only on statutory (federal) holidays, but should I close for any other reason, I aimed for a minimum of three months notice so that families could make alternate arrangements. This high standard of communication in childcare is essential, as a story of a parent’s mistake will illustrate.

Normally, parents would bring their children into the daycare, help if needed, and leave for the day. The longer a family would be in attendance, the more comfortable they became, sometimes even just bringing their children to the door and leaving. This level of trust and understanding is a key component of effective parent-provider communication in childcare.

This particular family had been attending my day home for three years. The father of the family was self-employed, and Mom had climbed the ladder quickly in the bank she worked for (requiring extra working hours). The closing hours of my day home and Mom’s day coincided perfectly, even the statutory holidays, making the relationship perfect. However, in order for her to be done her workday, she had to start earlier than when the daycare opened. So their balance was Dad did the morning drop-offs, Mom did the end-of-day pick-up. Their children were older, 5 and 6. When their father would do the morning daycare drop-off (normally in a rush) in the morning, I would open the door, and he would leave. Unfortunately, this would pose a problem neither of us accounted for…

At the end of the day Friday, I explained to Mom that I had an emergency appointment on Monday and I would need to close the daycare for the day. They were the only family booked for that day, so I felt comfortable with the unavoidable short notice. Getting up Monday morning, I reminded my own children (ages 8, 10, 14) that I had to leave. They knew to head to school by their regular time.

As I was driving to my appointment, I got a phone call from my oldest child. Fully expecting the call to be about them fighting, I pulled my vehicle over to the side to answer the call. Answering the phone, my oldest quickly says, “Mom, there are kids here for Daycare”. Flustered, I told him to remind the father that I had an emergency appointment and that I had to close, I told his wife on Friday. Quietly, my oldest says, “Mom, he dropped them off at the driveway and left before I got to the door.” Grateful my children were still home, but frustrated with this turn of events, I called their Mom. Embarrassed, she left work, grabbed her children, drove mine to school, and promised to call me later.

Apparently, there was a mix-up of communication, the downside to two busy working parents, and the sudden closure was missed by the father. This incident highlights the vital importance of clear and consistent communication in childcare settings, especially in homes where both parents have demanding jobs. In conclusion, the father never made the same mistake again, always watching for me to open the door and wave 🙂

Some teachings are timeless….

Keeping health and safety current.

In my childcare center, children embark on their educational journey from a tender age, and as a co-parent, I take my role seriously, serving as their soft landing, teacher, and emotional guide. Ensuring their safety and well-being has always been my utmost priority.

While imparting essential skills like writing their names and recognizing colors remains integral, our curriculum extends to teaching them crucial life lessons. This includes instructing them on what to do if they get separated from their parents, addressing concepts like “Stranger Danger,” and understanding the importance of personal space. From teaching them to dial 911 in emergencies to establishing secret passwords for safe pickups, learning home phone numbers, and addresses, these seemingly small lessons are vital for their overall health and safety.

Adapting to the changing times, teaching these safety techniques has evolved. One significant shift was obtaining permission to teach children their parents’ cell phone numbers, a task that proved challenging due to privacy concerns raised by some parents. Despite the hurdles, I remain committed to ensuring our children’s safety by incorporating these essential details.

Moreover, addressing personal space has become more nuanced. While children once understood personal space as the area from their fingertips to their shoulders, we now empower them to express their comfort levels with physical affection. This approach extends to sensitive situations, such as assisting in the bathroom, where I respect their boundaries entirely. Upholding their right to establish boundaries fosters their self-advocacy, giving them a voice and building trust in their environment when their boundaries are respected.

Teaching safety and social skills to young children has evolved, but the importance has remained steadfast. Respecting the boundaries they set and teaching them to respect ours not only instills mutual respect but also builds trust, creating a nurturing and empowering learning environment.

Cold and Flu Season

Wash your hands, rest, sleep, and eat healthy; keys to surviving cold and flu season.

The cold and flu season can be a challenging time for child care centers, as both parents and daycare staff find themselves missing work due to illnesses that affect everyone. Unfortunately, it’s not always feasible for parents to stay home, given the frequency at which their children fall ill. It’s surprising how many excuses are made to bring a sick child to care, some lacking creativity altogether.

“He is teething, that’s why he has a cough and runny nose.”

“It must be allergies; she hasn’t been around anyone sick,” says the parent while stifling a cough.

“It’s not pink eye; he is just really tired.”

“I think she is lactose intolerant; that’s why she has such bad gas and a slight fever.”

“I just need to get through the morning. She only brought up a little bit; she may have eaten too much.”

Children are particularly susceptible to bacteria, viruses, and illnesses, making them sick more often than they are healthy. Preventing these illnesses is challenging, especially in communal places that serve as breeding grounds for various infections. While it’s impossible to completely prevent sick children from attending daycare, efforts are made to discourage parents from bringing them in if they are still infectious, feverish, irritable, or generally uncomfortable. Both children and their parents are encouraged to be honest about their health, fostering a sense of responsibility within the daycare community. However, once a minor illness has spread, and the center is dealing with the aftermath, some rules are relaxed.

Through diligent cleaning with disinfectants, regular hand washing, maintaining good humor, and ensuring plenty of fresh air, child care centers can weather these illnesses and strengthen the children’s immune systems. The kids find humor in their bodily functions, from the infamous “snot rockets” to “bum burps,” maintaining their spirits despite their illnesses. While there is a clear sick policy in place, some parents attempt the “drop and run” tactic or secretly give their child medicine before drop-off. These tactics are ineffective; parents are promptly contacted if a child is suspected of being ill or when the effects of any medicine wear off.

If parents follow the golden rule of “doing unto others,” the spread of colds, strep throat, flu, pinkeye, fifth disease, and other ailments can be minimized. By adhering to this principle, everyone at the daycare can soon return to a happy and healthy environment.

Grown Ups Cry

Some days are harder than others

Full moon, poor sleep, home life stress, unforgiving weather, and children with cabin fever. The perfect storm. A day like no other. Waking up to fresh snow and down right frigid weather for the 14th day in a row, too cold to function, too cold to play outside.

The children showed signs earlier that week of needing to get outside, room to run, an environment that invites loud voices with space to spare. Where we live, winter is too long, and can be way too cold. This day was no exception to the rule. The wind chill that day would easily freeze any exposed skin in minutes. Arguably daycare should have been closed, but some parents had no choice but to persevere through the cold weather to go to work. Having a daycare in my own home made it impossible for me to close due to bad weather, after all my commute was non existent. Setting myself up for the day, preparing for restless children, determined to get through the day. Nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen. Seven children and me, not necessarily a bad number, just busy.

The children asked for the toy box, no problem, except three of them relentlessly fought over the same toy. Taking the toy away to give them a breather, one of them decided to sit and scream at the top of their lungs for over fifteen minutes, completely inconsolable. Going against my grain, I gave in, giving them back the toy on the agreement they would take turns. Setting the timer so they each had equal time, making it easier to share the toy, seemed like a good idea. However one child complained that they didn’t get the same amount of time because they went to the bathroom. Then the next child decided to argue that no one wanted to play with him while he had the toy. Fighting, arguing, and crying, the toy got put away. This initial fight dictated the rest of the day.

Snack was “disgusting”, (Bananas). The story was boring. Why do they have to do learning time. Soap all over the sink instead of washing hands. Plugging up the toilet, not once, not twice, but three times. Markers for coloring were used on hands, table, and on the chairs (ultra clean markers, thank you Crayola 🙂 ), another task to clean. I went to the bathroom briefly, to come out to a child crying in hysterics, of course no one knew what happened. The phone kept ringing, I had no time to answer. One child leaning forward bit my shoulder for no apparent reason while I was sitting on the floor playing toys with them. Snagged my sweater on a toy car. One of the kids has a bowel movement in their underpants. Giving up I decided to start lunch. Suddenly I tripped and fell while carrying the pasta to drain in the sink, spaghetti all over the floor.

The children were getting hungry, grumpy and tired. Starting spaghetti all over again was not going to happen, so I made sandwiches, and finger foods. No one wanted to eat, and loudly voiced their displeasure of not having spaghetti. Checking the clock to see how much longer till my day would be done. Alas, the phone began to ring again. Taking a second while the children sat at the table pushing their food around, I answered it. Straining to hear the caller, realizing it was one of the parents, they were currently stuck in the city, over a hour away. They were calling to let me know that they would possibly be late coming to get their children.

The last straw, tears streamed down my face. Frustration, and a poor sleep, leaked down my cheeks. All the children stopped their complaining once they realized I was crying. “Shush”, one of them said to the others. Silence floated over the room. “She needs a moment”, the other one said. “Come sit and have some water”, as they grabbed my hand to sit. I sat, they ate. I wiped my face. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and thanked them for their kindness. One of my littles looks at me and says, “Its okay, you let me cry when I need to”. 🙂

When Families fall apart

Childcare is the ultimate place for neutral ground.

Navigating through the challenges of changing family dynamics, especially when relationships are falling apart, is a delicate task. In marriages or relationships, people can either grow together or drift apart, leading to numerous reasons why family units crumble. Unfortunately, in such situations, children often bear the emotional brunt. Daycares and day homes serve as sanctuaries away from the turbulence of broken families, offering a safe space for children to express their grief, anger, and other emotions. These environments, where chance brings together a family of people, allow these young ones to create a secure haven distinct from their homes, which might be falling apart.

In my day home, addressing these changes involves individual conversations with parents, emphasizing that the childcare center is neutral ground, prioritizing the safety and stability of the children. I enforce zero tolerance towards any negative discussions about the other parent. Preserving the child’s mental well-being takes precedence over any emotional tugs from either parent. I refrain from involvement in custody disputes unless abuse is a concern, in which case, appropriate authorities are immediately contacted. My sole suggestion might be counseling for the child, recognizing the vulnerability of children to a myriad of emotions like sadness, fear, and anger. Mental health professionals are better equipped to guide them through these complex emotions, complementing the support offered at child care centers.

Additionally, firm boundaries are maintained in adherence to court-ordered or mutually agreed-upon custody arrangements. My primary goal is to nurture the child’s holistic development – social, emotional, behavioral, physical, intellectual, and academic. While providing a service that allows parents to work, I always emphasize that the child’s well-being is paramount. I create a stable environment by upholding rules and routines, providing a semblance of normalcy amid their newly chaotic world. Encouraging children to vocalize their feelings helps them cope, fostering conversations within the group about diverse family units, ensuring no child feels isolated. Children, though unique, crave security, acknowledgment, and understanding. It’s essential to engage respectfully with parents, setting aside personal opinions about the family dynamic. Remember always to be the supportive adult these children need during this challenging time.

Unsung Heroes: Nurturing Children Through Chaos

We survived the Pandemic with laughter, love, and learning.

In the midst of the Pandemic, the world witnessed the closure of businesses and people retreating into isolation.

Nurses, doctors, healthcare workers, truck drivers, teachers, and grocery employees emerged as heroes, rightfully praised for their dedication. Yet, among them were the unsung heroes—individuals who quietly played a vital role in maintaining a sense of normalcy amidst chaos. Daycare’s/ Day home’s such as mine closed only for a very short time. It wasn’t long before childcare was gravely needed in order for people to safely return to work.

Four weeks after everything shut down, I received a dire phone call from one of the many healthcare worker’s I watched children for. She needed to get back to work and had no one to watch her children, the hospital needed her. How could I refuse?

With unwavering determination, I navigated uncharted waters. Staying abreast of safety protocols, cleanliness mandates, and teaching young minds the importance of masks, hand hygiene, and social distancing. It wasn’t just about their education; it was about safeguarding their well-being. The anxiety was palpable. In those early days, information about the virus was scarce, and the risk loomed large. The children did not understand, my health was constantly at risk (contracting covid), and the anxieties and stress were daunting. Not knowing to what extent the threat was, I was potentially allowing a life threatening illness into my own home.

My concerns took a backseat. Instead, I focused on being a pillar of support for the families I served. Calming anxious children, easing their fears, and adapting familiar activities to the “new normal.” In the absence of traditional schooling, I assumed the role of an educator, balancing lessons with creative activities, cooking, and endless cleaning. Parents, already burdened by their work, found solace in the fact that I lightened their load.

Despite exhaustion, each day ended with a sense of fulfillment. Tired but content, I witnessed children adapting to the new rules. While I grappled with personal reservations, their resilience and gradual reduction in anxiety became evident.

Reflecting on those challenging times, I find immense relief in the knowledge that all the children under my care emerged unscathed. Today, they revel in their newfound freedom, and I stand as one of the unsung heroes—quietly ensuring a safe haven for these resilient young souls.

Category: Featured